Do I not belong here anymore?

It smells a little different in here
not like it did when I had left
the fresh calm is no more in the air
Now it is stale, almost suffocating.

The furniture has been moved, I notice
The lock to the main-door is changed,
A gleaming new washing-machine has replaced
the cabinet that held my belongings.

I can't figure out the keys
Neither the switches to the fan or light
There are marks on the wall that did not exist
New frames that I have never seen before.

My room looks familiar though
Nothing has been touched since four months ago
Still somehow I feel like i'm sleeping on someone else's bed
Hogging on someone else's space.

This someone else is me that I was back then
Carefree, Teenager, Thoughtless, Easy;
The someone that I have become now
Nomadic, Over-Planned, Measured, Mystery.

Both are strangers to each other.
She belonged, I don't feel the strings attached,
She just spoke, never thought,
I think and sometimes, never speak;
She flew, she wrote, she laughed a lot
She trusted, I don't;
She loved, I won't.

It's almost like I don't belong here;
I hate to admit but I'm jealous of her
Not very long ago, she was me
And now, I am someone I don't want to be.

Mamma-Papa are the same though;
some wrinkles are new, some kilos here and there
But its the same warmth that I used to feel
when I was she.

I'll always be their princess maybe
Always, the little one
So coming to them will always be like
coming home, whichever house it might be.

We didn't start the fire

We just took a burning match and dropped it in the bottle full of alcohol.


Never. We will never take responsibility of our wrong doing; And even if something good happens and we were not even remotely involved in it, all we try to do is 'gain some credit'!

Well that's human tendency and we humans tend to do many things.
Generalize
Judge someone
Not smile often
not reply back 'hellos'
cut phone calls coz we are bored
just be bored
just be lazy
Miss the wrong people
blame others
Not accept change

all human tendencies
and all irrelevant.
Or is it so?

Food for thought: Treat others the way you want to be treated back.

Different cities, different ways..

I always heard that India is 'diverse'; Now I finally know what that means..

Moved from,

to


It took me about more than a month to get used to the ways of the new city. Considering the fact that both the cities have very different history, this was expected. What makes it complicated is that the concepts that are just normal here are considered hilarious there and ways of life there are plain weird here. 'I' meanwhile am stuck between the places and trying to hunt for a midway.

Like, if you named a part of the city as 'High-tech city' in mumbai, people would either die laughing or simply change the name; and the same thing in Hyderabad is, 'cool' :-| I'm yet to know what is so high-tech about the high-tech city, the rocks are pretty authentic though..

The kinds of clothes I wear were never a matter of concern for me back home. Here, if i leave the room wearing shorts, the amount of staring is unbelievable! I try and wear 'full' clothes and even a scarf [for the sun] to just complete the burkha effect! My normal hairstyles are now 'fancy' and my sense of style is 'fashionable'. I get compliments thrown at all the time and more than making me happy, it ends up making me uncomfortable. Weird, very weird.

Oh, another thing..
If I come across a random guy in Mumbai, like the auto-walah / shopkeeper types, and call him 'bhaiya' it is supposedto be very offensive! I've called such people as 'uncle' all my life; and now if I call them uncle, I get a sly smile quipped with "Main aapko uncle lagta kya madam?" :-| Yeah, thats Hyderabadi hindi for you :-|

The local trains are replaced by MMTS, which suck
The Vada Pav is replaced by Dal wada;
The Cutting chai became 'Special tea';
Running to catch train has become cycling to class;
Super heavy showers shrunk into occasional drizzles;
DPs Restaurant has become Gopal shop;
Mom-made food is now putrid mess food;
Shivaji Park beach is now Peacock lake side;
The Biggest party ever called 'college' is over..
and campus life just happened!

Am I not happy?
No. There is not much to be unhappy about. The University is the best, facilities are bestest ever, people are kinda decent, my faculty is super-sexy and I've decent number of friends..

Then why am I whining?
I have my first internal exam this week :'(

P.S. Bharath is the only person in the university whom I knew before I came here; and as always, its FUN to meet blog-mates! :D

Eerie Hostel Tendencies :P

Hostel life exposes us to whatever other people’s good/bad/ugly habits are and well, even you can’t actually hide yours’. Even if you become all isolated and tight-lipped, there is no escaping intrusion on your privacy :D

So, so.. having faced about 3 weeks of life in girl’s hostel, having seen quite a bit [:D], having had quite some words; an enlightened Shatabdi shall have her say..
*clears throat*
A girl’s hostel is the most uncivilized place on the planet.

Don’t believe me? Visit any! Okay, guys have to take my word for it :D


I shall just mention what all I saw than leaving it on your imagination.
[Stop thinking about it, girls do NOT make out in the corridors of my hostel!]

So, back to what all I saw with respect to clothing, hmm..
Girl walking around without major clothing, yes
Girl walking into the washrooms, holding her towel, yes
Towel slipping off, oh yes :-|
Girl having bucket full of clothes and none on her body, yes
Girl changing in the corridor, yes :-|
Girl wearing just a translucent top and running in the corridor, yes
Did I want to see any of it? Hell no!
So you get the hang of it, plain disgusting.

I was going around the rooms of my hostel for a survey and for some reason girls seem to run to change clothes just after I knocked the door! Not once, not twice but more than ten times! What were they doing all the while, no, I didn't need to ask :-|

Now that I’ve started talking about disgusting things, lets go one step lower..

Bathroom Quirks :D
Now, we have a Bathrooms with have one side of baths and the other of WC with the central part lined up with wash basins and one clothes-washing enclosure. Once I had the whole of my wardrobe for wash and also the bedsheets and curtains; so, I just decided to get them washed than die. Also, I’m an absolute laundry fanatic and there is only a particular way my clothes are to be washed, starched etc, thus I had to supervise the woman. This meant a good one hour in the washroom with no good work to do.

Quick question, what should people ideally take along with them to the loos?
Soap, mug, toilet paper [if necessary] and errmm towel?
I’ve seen people emerging out with all kinds of things..
Bucket, Books, Music player, Newspaper, Glasses, Make-up kit, Toothbrush + Paste, Hair oil + comb, Mirror, Eye-lens box + solution, washed socks + washing brush, A soiled plate + cutlery set!
What is it? Don’t people have 2 minutes to spare for essential activities! Or they have the skill of time-saving that I don’t possess! Why have you gotto eat while taking a dump?! Or is it some simultaneous input-output mechanism that one needs to master!
I can’t even eat while people are talking about it, how do these girls manage to eat while doing it! How?

I’m just gonna stop typing or I’ll get nauseous!

Until next weekend, BYE!

The Sambhar Rice and the Coconut chutney

Well, so I am in South India. Not the first time, but definitely the first time for more than a week and with another year and a half lined up. So this is it, Welcome to Hyderabad!

With my Bengali lineage and Maharashtrian upbringing, I have eaten quite an assortment of food. So much variety that a restaurant menu would not suffice; But since the last 10 days, I have had almost all meals of Sambhar-rice! Bland food, so bland that I carry chaat masala with me to eat; And oh no no, this is not the worst part, these local girls went and complained that the food is ‘spicy’ and what I expect next is boiled vegetables!!

Food the way I’ve never had before
Vegetables that I don’t identify
Tamarind in everything
Cutlery = absent
Rice rice everywhere
Water straight from the oceans
No ‘daal’ in the daal
No tea, they serve morning sugar syrup
LONG queue for bath and longer for breakfast
Cycling across the 2300 acres called ‘campus’
No cellular network in the jungles

I asked for college life, not Jail life!


Ahem. So well, you get the hang of it, don’t you?

The TV channel doesn’t change. If you want to change, you use your stick / pen / clip, because there is no knob you see.. So it plays telegu stuff and I don’t even cross that corridor.

My room-mate’s possibly the best I could ever have! She is from Pune, so it’s like having someone from back-home live with me :-) Plus we like a lot of common things and don’t like a lot of other common things; in short, great! *thumbs up*
Very few guys from Mumbai; I made some decent amount of friends and we set off exploring the university every now and then :-) So, life doesn’t actually suck :P

Hyderabad is a funny place. They have cheesy parts of the city called Cyberabad, Telecom-nagar, hi-tech city n all; which by my view is funny :D The language is funny too. I’m not talking about telegu, any south Indian language is the same for me; here, I talk about the hyderabadi hindi :-| Oh, you’ve gotta hear it to know what I’m talking about.

I came alone to the city :-) I mostly travel alone and well, I kinda settled by myself too; so that’s prolly good.. The cycling is settled, even the room with my personal touches :-)

This is different from the place I grew up in
Very different
Maybe that means that life has a lot in store for me here
I don’t know, time will tell..

My Profs have a very sexy profile though. They are all visiting faculty in BIG schools like IISc, BARC, TIFR, MIT, some German and UK schools.. Even seniors have a great set up, so well, I have that much pressure on me to perform well..

I will write often now. I can’t believe that I didn’t write on my birthday. I had a nice one, but it was kinda sad coz I left for Hyd the next day. It is ok, the month-long birthday celebrations had gotta stop someday.. So, 20th year of life it is :-)


Oh, about the coconut chutney..

I dunno why but these south Indians love that one man!
It is served with everything! Idli, rice, puri, pakoda, samosa, upma, OKAY!
But they served it with aloo ka paratha! Beat that now..
Goodbye to good food..
*sigh*

Perfect things never come to an end!

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

People are not wrong! It's the striking of chords amongst two souls that makes things hard. No matter how bad you may find someone, there would always be someone to love that one and no matter how good you are, a certain set, a certain amount of souls hate you.. for something may or may not been done by you! So true, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”. I've learned in my lifetime so far that you can't help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you every day that you just want to be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because that’s what makes your life worth going on for.
You meet people, believe in them..talk to them, know them..and term them as friends. With days passing by, friends become good and better. Feelings grow along with humans. You discover love; you realize the importance of relationship. You become better friends and try naming it. Not always lovers, may be best friends...may be siblings...
Those who are rich in their friendship seem to be those who believe in lifelong relationship, who stay with their companions through thick and thin ,who weather the dry spells.
People find it hard to understand but with passing time you stop explaining. You know it's beautiful and precious. You put in your faith and trust. You start believing in its existence and work upon making it never ending. At times, you may fall for a relation that is weak enough that time or distance may separate it. You lose! But don't lose your heart. This was never a complete relationship. If it was, you shall cross paths.
"If you want something, you get it. If you don't get it, you really didn't want it at all."
That’s why I say, perfect things never come to an end.

P.S. To Shatab,
Being friends with you was the second best thing in this world. Finding you was the first!

P. P.S. Thank you for letting me write the 100th post :-)

It feels good =)

Life feels good.
The freshness of the winds, the chill of the rain,
feels new.
The dance of the leaves; no sorrow, no grieves,
feels calm.
The twitter of the birds, music to my ears,
feels free.
Buds opening, rain pouring, green spreading..
Bliss in the very air,
Monsoons are here
and that feels good :)


Finally all the running around halts. No, it didn't halt, I put a halt to it. I say so because technically I have another exam on the 8th but I'm too fed up to actually bother about it. 4th, 6th, 15th are the days of orientation of courses I'm selected into. So before my birthday, DEFINITELY majority of the drama would end. *ecstatic grin* *happy dance*

Now Baroda. A lot of you have been asking about it and I feel so great about all the concern :) So here's it.
I cleared for the interview. [Results awaited in a couplea weeks.] Which was a big shock after the sucky written test. But then everyone had a sucky paper so prolly mine sucked less :P Which means I was in top 22 among about 300+ candidates outside Gujrat. Which is good.
But the interview wasn't all that good.

Most of which wasn't my fault coz I was taught wrong stuff. [See? THIS is why I don't wanna do pure biochemistry in Mumbai!]
But the fact that I met those big-shot scientist guys, faced them interview me, slept on the hostel beds, roamed all around Baroda with good friends, planned the trip, traveled, accommodation hunting, everything by myself..gives me a high. :)

Then I had one last exam which incidentally was my third option and went pretty well.. so, I'm happy any-which-way :)


I had thought I'd give scene by scene analysis of my life in Baroda, but well.. not relevant. But, I had a guest home last morning..

Birdie came home through the terrace. Mommy reckons Birdie must have lost direction coz of the monsoon winds. I tried to shoo Birdie away, but Birdie wouldn't go. So, I fed Birdie instead! :D and then by the night Birdie flew away happily! :)

Yes, good days are back again :)

My blog world

In my blogger world....

There are 8 8 posts in my archive;

Ranter Shrav SHALL survive :D


Arv is now my most favorite reader

I and Samby graduated together!!!


Aditi uses her blog, now for assignments;

Gunj’s talligiri is beyond confinements :D


Anindita’s new template is dull

Alok’s updates are equal to null


Bhai’s blog-break doesn’t end :(

Misanthropist is a good friend =)


Disguise bid blogging goodbye (?) :(

Laya selected NIFT Chennai!


Ishaan's blog is great; but needs some readers

Deluded needs a bunch of real hot cheer-leaders :D


Riversoul is still the best poet of the lot

Crasiezt is still the most hot :D


Urv got through for an MBA!

Trinaa, without meeting went away :(


Rajesh is busy writing his book

Anurag’s blog is pretty good to look


Ki’s confessions is one of my favorite

Pixie’s Gryphon-muesli is busy to waver it


Bharat’s musings need to be read since an age

I’m waiting for Diu’s writers block to disengage


Swayam and my tastes have kinda match

The private blogs are awesome! A must catch


Mistiquespeak is a recent addition on blog-roll

Crystal’s writings move our heart n soul


Soham is having his life’s last vacation

I and Sachi are the world’s best combination!

:D



Yes, I'm back to my pointless poetry :P :P
excess padhai does this to people :(

I leave for Baroda in a day. This weekend could make it or break it. See you soon people, I love you all! Thanks for hanging in there :)

Walking away

Something I wrote off the hook..
Post dedicated to all the wonderful memories of the last 3 years of my life

Graduation days are the best I ever had
Graduating just makes me so sad
For I shall have to depart
Away from the place that is so close to my heart
Ruia, Miss me

My pals from all around the city
Of Various courses offered by Mumbai University
Moving on to make careers bright
Facing the world without doubt or fright
People, Miss me

Friends who were lot more than ‘classmates’
With virtues that make the greatest of greats
3 years together brought close and free
Love simply deepened for Biochemistry
TYs, Miss me

Teachers..
The professors, nah, more like friends
Who shall continue in there, for them no ends
They shall have a brand new ‘TY’ to worry about
To teach them all the concepts, to clear their doubts

Vora Ma’am faced it all with that brave grin
I’m glad; we are all as good as her kin
Mona Ma’am, her smile made all worry fade away
One conversation with Shohini Ma’am, made our day

Sneha Ma’am’s persistent backing-up with scolding
Prashant sir, always OHP transparency holding
Dhvani Ma’am, the reason why our FY bliss-ed
Padma Ma’am will always be max missed :-(

However bad or good students we were,
I hope you are content by the state of affair
But, you will agree that our was that batch
With traits that no other can ever match ;-)

Us..
We, the nine nautankies
The best from the rest, we the junkies
I am so close to you rest eight,
Our meet-ups are a definite bait..

Surabhi, the tallest of us all
Mau Manik’s late night missed call
Rohit’s jokes no better than a fart
Navjyot’s dancing = true work of art

Malamaal Prerna! Our Reserve Bank
Shweet Sayali, always so blank
Tejas Dada’s bayako [wife], his guitar
Late comer Bhate lives oh so far!

Life without you all, feels so empty
I shall miss N-219, memories plenty
DP’s corner table for six
All kinds of food in a random mix

The pictures clicked on the triangle
Career discussions from the canteen angle
Birthday celebrations and pending treats
Planning and canceling full group meets

It makes me look into the future’s eyes
Big hope that this friendship never dies
Big wish that we reach out might
But I sure shall miss all the petty fights

Miss me my dear friends, and please keep in touch
A random mail, one message is not asking for much
A missed call, even a passing thought
Would let me know that my feelings are not alone to rot…

Here, I shall call it just the road’s bend
Because this definitely is not the end
Hoping that you guys are doing just fine
Closing curtains with the clichéd Remembrants’ line,
I’ll be there for you..
Coz you’re there for me too :-)

GRADUATE!

I'm not happy, I'm contented.

My Third year of graduation was the one in which my world literally turned upside down. I did many things and many other things happened in this one year. I had 4 proper vacations, worked, blogged, scaled the entire city every weekend, spoke on the phone for an average of 4-5 hours a day, supposedly 'fell in love', ailed my heart for 7 months, attended my cousin sister's wedding 1 week before the pre-boards and lost her 2 days before my main theory..

What I did not write here was that I messed up 2 major papers.

messed up big-time. Didn't-study-a-thing-and-walk-into-the-exam-hall-to-look-@-other-people-fiercely-writing mess up. And I didn't care. I just wanted a face-saving 1st class and decent marks in practical and I got that.

I got the highest marks of my graduation years, a 1st class and a bonus distinction :) At the age of 19 :) :) There are gonna be no celebrations yet, the main motto of all this jazz, to get a MSc admission, has not been achieved; so anxiety gets postponed for another month.

For some reason I've gotten very numb. Maybe because of the exam marathon session since the last week of January... Things don't affect me anymore. My very good friend topped the college, probably univ even. I'm happy for both of us but like my parents I'm not sitting and comparing our marks, i don't even give a damn if anyone gets in their favorite course.

All I see is the next 2 weeks. The decisive weeks of my career. I have all other options planned and I know what i will do if nothing happens, but I don't wanna mess this one up; and I'm not going to.

I seriously wanna thank all of you for being by my side in all ups and downs. :)


P.S. Anindita, I was so much in chaos y'day! The result anxiety, exam tension and so many things on my head; and you, magical mistress, in one hour you made my day! :) Thanks for putting up with me through all of it Lady Santa, I love you :)

I WANT!

I don't want to lose the dream that I chased for over a year

I don't want to be the girl who screeches if her hair touches the dusty leaves of the tree standing in the middle of the road

I don't want to regret the being their for near ones,
the lending of shoulder for my mother to cry, when she missed her favorite kid.


I don't want to end up with a guy who doesn't know how to behave

I don't want to understand someone who cannot appreciate me for who I am

I don't want to have fake living friends,
just coz we have spent ages together.


I don't want to not be able to tell my best friend how much I love him

I don't want to see the shot pigeon die a worm's death

I don't want to celebrate World Environment Day
and not do anything about the dying planet and its life-forms.


I don't want to forcefully take something
because all other options were shut.


I want to live
my life
the way I WANT!



P.S. Another Blog break :-) 28th June is the last day when it all ends. Meanwhile I shall visit my dream university. Wish me luck :-)

Gyan Share: Being nice to people isn't expensive. It just costs a little bit of compassion and understanding for a big award of happiness. :-)

Telephonic conversations

When boredom is difficult to cope
when one gives up all his hope;
The telephone rings with the dear one's call
Leaving you behind in telepathy's enthrall.

When he gives you that first sparkling ring
You are just assured that this is no fling thing...
Dial that number, let all buddies know
That You-Him-and the Ring, make the perfect combo!

However busy we all might be...
We can never thank Graham Bell enough for his discovery
That little device in your pocket mister
Is the result of some-one's sweat's glister

Happy? Sad? Dying? Flying? or.. Broken?
Bugged of carrying along life's burden?
Fikar not, we are all down the same lane
and just to remain sane,
Keep it ringing!

:D

Post dedicated to all the heart-to-heart conversations with Sachi, Deluded, Anindita, Aditi, Samby, Ridhiman, Trinaa, Diu, Soham, Ki and Laya :) :)


Gyan Share: Love is not something that happens to you. It is a conscious decision that you take. So, take it wisely than just being blind. - Misanthropist

Home Alone III

I thought I would not need to write further about this. I planned to put up some poem or recipe or tag or any random jazz. BUT I NEED to write about this! [loonnggg post]

The penultimate day into the exciting term turned out to be WOA! Its not like I’ve not had days out with friends, but today involved no sleep, total excitement, a fabulous phone call, unexpected money, an old friend coming back.. whom I missed so much, all the negativity eliminated and most importantly, CRAP FOOD!

I have given up junk food, errmm.. had actually *sheepish grin*
Ok, relaxed the resolution for one day, today :D

Day started last night at 12 when I was errmm.. trying very hard to study and not succeeding. I was online and wanted to talk badly to someone, anyone. I have a few very good friends who’ve been there with me throughout. I don’t know how much of a good friend I have been to them, but well, I’ve tried :-) Last night however I did not want to call up any of them, I wanted to stay isolated; something VERY rare for whom I am.

And then tears leaked out of my eyes.

I am not someone who cries, I so am not! I didn’t cry when my cousin sister left.. Not because I am this tough girl or something, it is coz I can’t cry. But last night, I felt as if the burden of over 2 months, the losses, betrayal, defeat, crash of a dream, losing a person.. it all came back, I succumbed and then, came out victorious. Washing away all sin, all bitterness, all hopelessness, all of it. Someone helped me do that, didn’t flinch when I wailed like a little child who was deprived from his favorite toy.

I know you are reading, but, you don’t know how much it means to me.
How important the last sleepless night was for me. It was not just about what you thought it was about, but many other things interlaced. But well, I am a complex creature :D I am out of the guy I was so crazily in love with, to whom it didn't matter. Argh, Loves MAKES you lame!

Anyway, so 5:30 am, final phone call cut, I lay sleepless on my bed and so? I start making dessert for my parents, who come 2mrw nite! Then an hour of good soulful music and 7 a.m. maid’s arrival :-|

Later in the morning, sorting of things with the friend I was talking about, more sigh of relief. Then later in the day, bhag-daud of getting ready, I was going to my favorite place in the world, College! To meet Aditi! To get the last salary for quite some time, sigh.. yes, I quit writing for campusjunkie.
Even heart-to-heart talks with you made my day gal, you [21] made me see many things that we 19 yr olds ignore :P

Anyway, both of us, non-foodies, ended up having all possible kinds of foods and drinks during the day. Dosas, Parathas, Fruit beer with lemonade in round 1 and then despite being full upto the brim, A Belgian waffle, some slush and coke in round 2 :D If you thought that was it for 2day's food, hang on.

Further, my eating spree menu included, Pani-puri, a pineapple pastry, Nimbooz, gum-loads of chewing gum, 2 ice-creams-one cornetto n the other butterscotch! The icing on the cake was the pizza in the night courtesy Domino’s.. yea, they suck, but what the hell, an entire pizza all by myself?! And I could finish it mister, I could. The chicken, the corn and extra cheese, oh la la.
OK, I feel fat.
But whatever.

As it ticks 12 in the clock, I'm here doing something I love to, blogging :-)

What is important is that I realized that hanging out with friends is as important as being there for them. Sometimes it is not possible, sometimes you have to depend on that phone because of the physical distances. But when it is possible, make it happen :-)

Oh, why is this called ‘home alone’?
As I could be the way I was, because I was home alone :-) No continuous influx of phone calls, no time limit, no money expenditure limit, no emotional expenditure limit :-)

Tonight is the last night I shall be alone at home,
And so, I shall make the most of it ;-)


Gyan Share: The phone kills your brain cells! It is not about the convenience, it is the amount of energy you expend into it, to only feel sluggish later. – Aditi Gupta.

Home Alone II

As days are going by, I'm getting more used to the concept of being [stuck] at home :P
The maid seems to be 'on-time',
the chores seem to be 'just fine'
and that was one sucky rhyme..

ahem. whatever.

What I was saying is, even the plants seem so much more nicer now! And sorry for the wrong information previously, they are not 70, but 56 :-) and watering the roots first and then sprinkling the leaves is just being nice to them, because well, in my mum's absence, they are MY responsibility :-) The roses bore buds and so I am super happy! actually even a new leaf is being noticed and that is making my day! :-)

I'm enjoying the cooking bit so much that I ended up inventing my very own recipe! Hold your breath ladies n gentlemen, it is called..
*drum rolls*
FIERY BHINDI :D
and I like it because it literally puts the mouth on fire :-P

Among other things, this living alone at home is turning out to be a major learning experience. And well, all the things learnt are about ME. Here's a some of it in a jiffy..

*!* I love Capsicum and Tomatoes so much that I add them in almost everything I make! :P

*!* I can manage perfectly well without television. Yes, TV or No TV, same difference.

*!* Laundry STILL is the besht stress-reliever :-)

*!* I will actually die if my phone is taken away. Plus majorly my STD calls are my life savers :-)

*!* Praying makes me feel good :-) And if you even sincerely think of god once in a while, the entire atmosphere becomes so positive; this is what they mean by 'aura cleansing' maybe :P

*!* I CAN take bath once in two days, BUT I take bath everyday just because I have to pray :D

*!* Google Earth is FUN!

*!* If I sleep well in the night, that is 5 hours, [before the bell rings @ 7]; I'm calm and happy, in other words, in good mood, for the whole day! And 'that' IS important.

*!* I NEED a lotta juices and liquids at any given time. A bottle of water accompanies me where-ever I go. And I had never noticed this! argh!

*!* I am a decent enough cook. But mumma still is the best! I might just get a little more appreciative of the effort my mum takes to make nice delicious food despite all the work on her head. Thank you ma, for being so awesomely consistent!

Well, I made custard for breakfast and it turned out very well. Thanks to Ki's early morning msg :-) For the lunch, I wanted something Indian and mum suggested Khichdi [over the phone] and I instantaneously concurred. I made it well even, just that it is made, errmm, enough for 5 people :-| and I am too bored to eat it for 5 meals straight.. so do YOU guys mind joining me for breakfast or lunch tomorrow? :P


I went for home utility shopping today, here's the list :-D
1. Mangoes
2. Eggs
3. Milk
4. Curd
5. Shampoo
6. Ready-to-eat Dal Makhni
7. Lemon
8. Eye-drops
9. Orbit
10.Juices-any
:) :) :)


and yeah, considering the stupendous response to the gyan sharing bit [:P], that shall be part of the post as and when possible :-P People have P.S. I shall have G.S. :D
So until later, Take care guys! and give your mum a Tight Hug from my side! :-)

Gyan Share: Don't try very hard to open unknown phone handsets. It might just be one click and that dear nail might have to be sacrificed for nothing.. *mourn*

Home Alone

Ah yes, You read right.

No-one at my place, barring the plants for company.. Why I specifically mention them? Because watering my mother's 70 odd pots each day, is a pain in the wrong place :-| It's times like these for which I keep asking my parents for a Pet Dog, or a Gold fish even.

But then, ah, yes.. I'm not complaining!

I've lived by myself in pune, but that's NOTHING when compared to staying at your place without constant parental scrutiny. I can cook my own food, do my own thing, talk on phone for hours together; in short, be my own self! There is a long list of things that I can't do, but I'm not getting into all that.

There was this long list of 'instructions' that my mum had to deliver [and continues delivering over the phone] that initially were funny, then the same lines started sounding out of concern, but now they are plain annoying.

*!* Put the milk in the refrigerator. [Who drinks milk when you are away?]

*!* Water the plants. [Yes mumma]

*!* Don't open the door to strangers. [I'm almost 20!]

*!* Water the plants. [Oh yes]

*!* Don't keep the kitchen messy. [Like you'd know, ha!]

*!* Water the plants. [:-|]

*!* You can identify chloroform, right? [Till I identify, I'll be in Switzerland, At least in the dream! ]

*!* Water the plants. [Heard of drip irrigation?]

*!* Puja karna, roz, subah sham. [?]

*!* Water the plants. [Why couldn't you just keep 10, favorite ones?]

*!* If you don't keep your bed crisp clean, bad omens will enter the house. [I never did that even when you were here. Additional work is cheating!]

*!* Water the plants. [Could I just throw them down the terrace? But then I'll have to throw 7-8 a day, they are SO MANY!]

*!* Computer lock karke jau kya? [how the hell do you do that?!? Plus, Oh hello! I'd DIE!]

*!* Water the plants. [Has some-one told you that you own a mini-jungle?]

*!* The house-maid comes at 7 a.m. every morning.

WHAT!
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS CALLS THE MAID @ 7!?!?
I don't mind 8, but 7, SEVEN?

And they call up @ 7 every morning [even sunday] to see how awake I am :-|

Parents... argh!
They always ruin ALL the fun! x-(


P.S. Its getting boring now. Drop me some tips no.

P.P.S. A lil bitta gyan sharing. Never ask a guy "What's up?" Unless you want weird answers :P

Disconnected!

I have never been so long without being updated...
about whatever has been happening in everyone's life who means so much to me.

I have been juggling between Mumbai and Pune since more than a month and well, running all over both the cities. Have had my share of fun, but now, I'm just tired.
Tired of trying to figure what I have been doing for the past year,
Tired of giving exams and hoping to clear 'any one' of them,
Tired of having such frequent mood swings and giving un-necessary things so much importance.

Now, fullstop.

To ALL the crap.

I've decided, I'm just NOT going to be too hard on myself.

No, I'm not asking.. Its all done. So, I don't need your views about how I should live my life. [To that Mr. adviser]


Well, among other things.. I was left for almost half a week without a phone *sob*
It was sooo difficult to manage without one! Firstly, because it was the only thing that kept me connected to the rest of the world...and then, whenever I was out, my hand just kept going to the pocket and I had this constant feeling that I had forgotten something :-( No msgs, no calls, not even missed calls :-(
But then now, I have a back-up and shall have my new sony in a couplea days...so, life's GOOD :-)

And
I hate myself because
1. I've not read any of blogs since about a month!
2. I've not spoken to any of you guys since so long.. [Expect a call in a day or two people ;-)]
3. I have forgotten birthdays! so many :-(
I actually wished Ishaan FIFTEEN days later! Gosh! Any of you does that to me, I'm so going to issue the 'Hang to death' verdict! S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y! And Ishaan was so cute to message back, "Hehe, its ok.. happens" :-| And hence, you are allowed to forget my birthday this year; do you even know what THAT means Mr metal militant?

Oh, Arv, I was sulking so much the day you messaged! It almost made my day! Thanks :-)

Well, so now that I am back, at least temporarily, I shall definitely make it a point to read all your blogs. Especially Pixie's. :-)

Yea, I know my blog template has changed too often.. But I'm annoyed coz nothing looks as good as the permanent one I used to have.. and I'm bored with that.. so, I'm gonna keep experimenting :-) You can drop in your comments, but well, I'm gonna continue doing what I feel like.. so in case I do-not implement your suggestions, do not be a cranky baby.. I've quit baby sitting, you see....

My previous post sucked, I hate it.

The person I missed most was Ki .. Trinaa, even :-(

and Aditi, babe, I LOVE you!

That's about it.

& Next two months are going to decide my life.
And this time, I am ready for them :-)

Giving up

You wish, you dream, you want,
Life to be a certain way
And then one disappointment
Simply washes all hope away..

You fight, think positive, you deny
Raise your head; Oh! You want to fly
Reach that goal, show the world
Your worth, ability to reach that dream
Seen with open eyes and not, on your bed curled

But why does it have to make you suffer?
Make it more difficult, all of the queer?
More struggle, sweat, tears as exam nears
More night outs, perseverance, biggest fears..
Just to reach that illusion you saw
As your dream
As your desire
As your bloody need!

Maybe coz God just wants it
to taste it a little more sweet
When you succeed, reach that aim
Not tarnish your daddy’s fame
Be that daughter who did not give up
Despite that massive career blow-up..

I guess it’s just a phase
And 2 years later I would laugh at my craze
To type all emotional turmoil on my blog
When I should just study and slog
But I feel better and you would agree
It helps, makes you feel better, free.



:-D :-D

Still in Pune. Life sucks. Food sucks. Schedule sucks worse.
And as you just read,
I am lovin it!

:-D

WHAT-A-DAY!

Phew!

I phewed last evening when IIT got done and was under the impression that at least for the next 2 weeks I have nothing as such to worry about [barring my mock tests @ Pune ofcourse]. But little was I aware of the absolute pandemonium that awaited me this morning.

On a good note, I made two brand new friends and spend some quality time with one of them :-)

Well, I was out with one of my good [;-)] friends last night and was helluva tired when I got back home. Then leaving for Pune early Monday morning with so many people coming back to work after a long weekend, I knew it could be tough. So well, I got up at the usual 6, did my basic packing and had one BIG bag full of books to accompany me on my way back. Left home at 7 am after that usual “beta ek bread piece aur le-lo”, “Yeh dudh kon khatam karega” jazz.

On the bus-stop, stranded! Shivneri-which is the MSRCT Govt Volvo was all booked till 8:30! And Jay [with whom I had come to Mumbai], had crossed my stop at 6:30 a.m. So, in short, I HAD to take any bus that came along. Neeta, private bus is my father’s call, because he wanted me to leave before he got too late for office. 7:30 bus is mostly full but luckily I get through with a ladies seat next to this girl who is engrossed in her novel.

So, we leave; both of us wave bye to our parents and I get in the journey mode. Me on radio n half dear sleep; she back to her book; intermittently talking on the phone. But then both of us get too bored and start talking :-) One thing leads to another and we begin to open up about the reason for the travel, our courses, her job, backgrounds, rickshaw drivers, doctors, parents and random blabber shit.

Me: And so I am applying to almost all corner of the country for an MSc seat!

K Didi: :-)

Me: Which city do you belong to actually?

K Didi: Oh! That’s some question! I work at Pune and my parents live at Mumbai. But then I have done my schooling from 2-3 parts of the country and graduation from Gujrat.

Me: That’s nice. I’ve been in Mumbai since I was very little. And thus the problem with getting accustomed to a new place; Pune is fine… Where in Gujrat are you from?

K Didi: Baroda.

Me: I’m even applying to universities over there! Such desperation for a seat, but then MSU is my dream university :-)

K Didi: Haha! I’m a student of MSU. Comps Engineering but, no Biochemistry-Biotechnology for me :-)

Me: Oh! I know some-one who belongs to your course, might be a couplea years senior or junior to you but.. His name is Urv..

K Didi: who? Urv Bhatt?

Me: Yea.. I know him through blogger :-)

K Didi: Urv is one of my very good friends from college!!

Me: Huh?

K Didi: Haha! How small IS my world!

Loads of smiles and laughter, and bitching about our very own You-are-we. :-D

K Didi: He put up some of our weird pictures on his blog!

Me: Yeah yeah, I remember that post!

K Didi: I follow his blog sometimes..

Me: Yeah, that’s a fun blog..

And then blogger details, facebook details, phone numbers, exchanged.

In short, one helluva meet, she n me spent such a good time that made one boring journey absolute fun; so, good in mama’s hood :-D

My stop came 1st nI got off, with my massive book bag and back-pack.. But then as this was the private bus, it didn’t have the usual stops. I had to get off at Aundh which is FAR from the main city, but then anyway we have to take rickshaws through Pune because of lack of infrastructure in the form of good public transport. But today of all days when I was alone and out of the main city, there had to be an
AUTO RICKSHAW STRIKE!

My bag was big, and my bag was heavy. Like VERY HEAVY! I couldn’t even walk straight with its load. Plus the other bag was pretty difficult to manage with. I had absolutely no idea about the bus routes or numbers or stops! I had never traveled by them you see..

But then somehow, this C didi helped me with my stuff and we changed 2 buses to get through. Took me about an hour extra and I walked on the sunny hot roads literally pulling my self and the bags on the roads. Plus I called all my friends to postpone their journey and not travel alone if they can manage. A good company in a bad journey can make a hell lotta difference you see.

So, now I am in pune and have tests n study schedule lined up for the rest of the month. Shall keep you guys posted!
And y’all keep in touch.

:-)

Come back

He be my close pal
He n I, together through all
But one day he just walks out the hall
Between us there be an invisible wall
Does he not know?

That it hurts me bad
If a friend I always had
Suddenly becomes all lone and sad
Everything he does just makes me mad
Do I over-react?

Dear,
If things were not working out
Something was messy, there was doubt
There were speculations all about
All you did was ‘want to shout’
Can I not help?

Prolly I am too young for advice refined
Too frail, too out of my mind
But what about the forces which bind
Us much deeper than the rind
Do you not trust?

It simply hurts us,
Breaches us, bleeds us,
As if we just missed the bus
The feeling of an absolute Blunderbuss
What can we do?

Or
Is there nothing to do?
To work it out, to bid bad days adieu
Tell me what is wrong with you
Let me help you walk it through
What have I done?


If you don’t revert the frame
It shall never be the same.


P.S. Super-cool Most Awesome Dot Song re-vamped here :-)

P.P.S. Thanks Jay for a great journey back home. 3 hours, absolute fun! Don't you agree?

P.P.P.S. I shall write, but please pardon my absence from the networking communities and your blogs for a while.

The Dot Song

Well, so one of my friends from college, Anisha, had this very interesting status message on Gtalk for ages, which read, A line is a dot that went for a walk. :-)

Then one fine day, alterations of this were made by various people on her friend-list and now it is an entire poem! :) :) :) It is so cool that not including it on my blog would be an absolute insult to this master-piece! And as I am one of the contributors, I shall take full liberty of that :-D

So, here it is!


THE DOT SONG


A line is a dot that went for a walk.

- Paul Klee (contributed by Bimal Bharath)


A curve is a dot that flew like a hawk.

- Rahul "Anonick" Dandekar


An icosahedron is a dot that didn't know where to stop.

- Madhura Rane


A scribble is a dot not knowing what it sought.

- Anisha "Anne" Zaveri


A circle is a dot that just goes round and round,

A coil is a dot that keeps getting wound.

-Adi Sengupta


An exclamation is a dot with an erection.

-Bimal Bharath


An asterisk is a dot with hair.

-Srikanth Viswanathan


A Buckyball is a dot that was out there to shop.

-Shatabdi "Express" Roy Chowdhury


A doodle is a dot that dances a lot.

-Rahul "Anonick" Dandekar


A colon is a dot who found true love.

-Siddharth "Sid" Joshi


A knot is a dot that lost it's path.

(disclaimer: in a closed space)

-Ravitej U.


A star is a dot that's really really hot.

-Adi Sengupta


A tittle is a dot.

-Anandi Rajan


Z is a dot after too many drinks.

-Shivam Gupta


A bot is a dot, out of silicon wrought.

-Preyas P.


A semicolon is a dot taking a dump.

-Ranaji Deb


A division sign is a dot looking at the mirror in vain,

A curl is a dot that had too much champagne.

-Anisha "Anne" Zaveri


A comet is a dot with a wild streak.

-Nikita Mehra


A shooting star is a dot that can't be caught.

-Shatabdi "Express" Roy Chowdhury


A squiggle is a dot that lost the plot

-Nikita Mehra


An O is a dot yawning.

-Bimal Bharath


A bulls eye is dot that is tough to spot.

-Preyas P.


A fuzzball is a dot with goosebumps.

-Rajani Rajan


A double helix is a dot that is entangled and can't get out.

-Anandi Rajan


A dot is not what you and I thought.

-Achal Agarwal


A dot is a dot is a dot.

-Nikhil Karthik (A Gertrude Stein reference)

:-) :-) :-)

P.S. The whole poem can be found here :-)

The Superchor Tag :-D

Picked this one up from Bhai and even though some answers ARE similar, that only certifies my and her Kismat Connection :-P

1. What does your user name mean?
Express. Well, firstly for anyone who is not convinced, my name actually IS Shatabdi and for people who do not know, it is also a name of a set of trains which are known for their good service and for commuting between cities. So, whenever I introduce myself, I get a very standard reaction; “express? (With a nasty grin)” So, be it.

Another reason would be that it justifies my purpose of being there on blogger. [Miss India kind of answer :-P]

2. Elaborate on your user photo.
That is a Hope Diamond.
It was supposedly belonging to Mata Sita and is supposed to be authentic and all. Look it up on google, and save me the trouble :-D

3. How many comments do you have?
As in, total from the time I started blogging? I am just not going to take that trouble man; plus, how does it matter?

4. What's your current relationship status?
Single and not ready to mingle.

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Clothes :-D
Grey tee and navy blue shorts.

6. What is your current problem?
That my entrance exams are never-ending. I am good at studies, but all this mad-work is making me go crazy. Can some-one tell these scientist people of a system called ‘centralization’?

7. What do you love the most?
Ah, my phone maybe, I’m on it so often. And if you expected people, Papa :-)

8. What makes you most happy?
My happiness doesn’t depend on anything. I am all-time jumpy and excited :-D There is a simple sensor; I’m talking = I’m happy :-P and facebook quizzes just certify that I’m a happy kid :-D

9. Are you musically inclined?
Absolutely! I listen to a wide variety of genres and always wanting to explore more :-)

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
How would I find out?

11. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I would like to keep in touch with all friends I used to have. I genuinely miss some of the people who used to be so close to me and just fell apart with time.

12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
I am an animal everyday. Duh! Wasn’t man a social animal? Plus bitches ARE animals!

13. Ever had a near-death experience?
Hmm, road accident. I was an atheist before that took place. Because I came off scratch less, I’m glad it happened :-)

14. Name an obvious quality you have.
Quality matlab good nah?
I can interact with people, many kinds of people ;-)

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
Accidentally in love – Counting Crows.

16. Are you happy today?
Hmm. Like I said, refer to question no. 8 :-P

17. Who will cut and paste this first?
Kirti maybe. Actually there could be a case when no-one does it. And THAT is all good.

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Priyanka Chopra :-D *smirk*
And a good friend, Shabarni Gupta, she was born in the same year too! 1989.. We ARE twins!

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Haha! When do I not have secret crushes? :-D

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?
Yes. One in the kitchen, one in the terrace an d a small one in my room :-)
Even though I don’t look like; I am one tidy female.

21. Have you ever been in a fight?
I Love pointless arguments, so yes. Physical fights, mostly with brother in childhood :-D

22. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Group, Often. Solo, Yes. As in, 500 people qualify as a ‘large’ audience right?
On phone, almost alternate days; To myself, all the time!

23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
The way they look at me, or other people [read women] around.
Then, the presence, body language, linguistic skills, sense of humor, blah blah.. long list.

24. What's your biggest mistake?
Nothing so big to single out as ‘biggest’. Small big random mistakes are usually rectified :-)

25. Say something totally random about you.
This could take pages and ages. One thing everyone should know though, My on and offline persona are two different things. Oh, and yea, I love making lists. My blog is full of them. I even talk in that way, and its fun :-P

26. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes. But then, I don’t think he was serious :-D

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yea. But only with people around my height :-D Generally a couplea inches wouldn’t hurt.

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Typed a message saying 25 times that he was missing me when he was drunk and I was sleeping in my parent’s room.
Many other things actually, this was the first thing that came to my mind.

29. What are your favorite smells?
Fresh raw mango, Petrol, New notebooks, Old novels, Fa cherry blossom, any detergent’s smell, fresh cosmetics [especially kajal or khol powder], many chemical reagents smells [ethanol, acetone etc]; the list goes on and on…

30. What's something that really annoys you?
This list can be even longer than the previous one :-P
But I get pissed major when some-one is repeatedly telling me something that I already know.

31. What's something you really like?
Sitting and chatting for hours together..

32. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
No, not random.

33. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
Overnight before an exam because I was scared that I would not wake up :-D

34. Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?
No, and I thank god for that.

35. Whom would you tag?
Urv, Sachi, Swayam, Soham and Kirti :-)

I Regret the Invention of Science

Uploaded Campusjunkie 16th Oct 2008


Apes evolved into humans, got themselves a better brain. Man started using the brain, started asking questions. And to answer these questions, science was invented.

Then they realized the importance of science for the progress of mankind and started research on it. Result, they introduced courses that taught science, and then I took it up!!!

I mean seriously, Today I equate sex with hormones, I think of food and complex structures of carbohydrates and proteins come rushing into the frame of my vision, When anybody sneezes in my vicinity I thank my antibodies, I blame Cadbury’s for not publishing ingredients and expiry dates on eclair’s!! aarrgghhh, in short, I L-I-V-E science.

And then things are expected out of us, science students. To sit in every lecture, pay attention, make notes, ask questions and also do “further reference”? Is it humane? To suck all life out of young adults by making them mug up complicated definitions and knotty formulae that make no sense what-so-ever? Leave them with no choice but look longingly out of the window towards BA and BMM kids playing in the rain, while they work in gloomy labs with handle-with-care Borosil glassware? Why can’t we be carefree for once? Chill out and not worry about free energy change of a spontaneous reaction?

We do homework; stay updated with advances in science; listen-think-understand-analyze-apply-remember every concept only to get criticized by 50 year olds who think we should “pull up our socks”. We begin giving final exams more than a month before rest of the college does; have stressful dates with deadly bacteria and toxic chemicals on Valentine’s Day; only to get tagged back as “nerds”. The question that I ask is,

How much of it do we finally end up applying in our lives?

We become better individuals. Punctual, aware, real, curious etc. but we end up in event management for the money. Make our graduation days living hell, just get the degree and change the field. Because we don’t want to die doing science. Then why get into it in the first place? Hype? Influence? Friends? I guess many of us like science for being “different” as kids, but when hit the hard-core ways in science, we get turned off. Also, the university system and point of view of teachers doesn’t help us much.

As of now, we have no choice but to live with it. But things better change fast if they want to keep the pure sciences alive in the near future.

And for you all, aspiring scientists out there, If you are ready to slog your ass off (literally) in lectures and practicals, have no on and off-campus life, do a 9-6 job for graduation, like other people dictating your life…This is the perfect place for you, Welcome aboard!

Notification

To whomsoever it may concern

I, Shatabdi Roy Chowdhury, whould like to inform you with a heavy heart that 'examination-time sucks!'. I have been giving exams since last week January 2009 and have them till July 2009. Yes, I have nothing at all to look forward or backward to and am SICK of people testing my abilities, which are way above human perception.

My Univ exams end on the 15th of April so I shall continue blogging. My Facebook profile of the other hand has been deactivated to avoid wasting all the 'precious' time ON the days of examination. But it shall see phases of activation-deactivation often now.

Orkut account lies dead and Don't even ask me about Yahoo messenger, because that was given up eons ago to make way for my exhaustive list on Gtalk.

This is no attempt to cut people out following the recent incidents in my life. It is just a desperate step to keep me away from networking when I come for reference. Because cutting off the internet shall render me handicapped.

*ecstatic because SHE CAN WRITE FORMALLY!*

Anyway
I have personal messages, like always :)

*!* Trinaa: I have tried to call you 7 times in the last 2 days and your number is "switched off". Kuch hua hai kya?

*!* Crystal: Blogger is INCOMPLETE without you. Come back :-(

*!* Urv: Mental Man. But yea, Thanks for that pep talk. Motivated me immensely.

*!* Arv: I spoke to you!!! Yay! :-D And its just like Ne had said in her guest post on your blog! ;-) Thanks on the advice yea. :-)

*!* Aditi: Saath jiyenge, saath marenge. Ab toh exam center bhi ek hi aa gaya!! Haay dayya!

*!* Laya: yes, you are allowed to laugh. When you are about to graduate, I shall have the last [:P] laugh :-D

*!* Swayam: Padhai kar-le beta. Kabhi kabhi karna chaiye. Sehath ke liye acha hota hai :-P

*!* Ishaan: Ref to Aditi and Swayam's msgs :-D The kids say 'hi' and 'best of luck'.

*!* Divinediu : :((((((((((((((((( MISS YOU

*!* Deluded: You give exams all round the year and your course is lot tougher than mine. So? I'm not gonna cure/kill living people, Am I?

*!* Rajesh: Good luck with the book man. I know you needed feedback from me, I will gradually :-) Tc!

*!* Dita: :-) Milenge, soon! :-)

*!* Alok: Acha don't make face. I'm going back to study!

*!* Soham: :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D You know what :-D

*!* Sachi: Thanks to Graham Bell, my umbilical cord hold onto me :-D Opps, cell phones were chord-less no? :-D BUT, Vodafone vs Airtel rivalry bhi humko durr nahi rakh sakti :-P Love you sachi!

*!* Dishi: Happy holidays!! I know they are not on right now, but what-d-hell they will begin long before mine begin. + Advance Happy birthday :-)

*!* Anurag: Nahi, no Gtalk either. :-)

*!* Crazy: Punjab di kudi pumping padhai karne di energy in me on the phone. Best hai tu crazy! Simply the best! [HBO wala :P]

*!* Ki: Our exams start on the same day :-( which is just FOUR days away. SHIT.

*!* Bhai: Before you kill me. I be gone. :* [runs awayyy]

Love you guys and comments not allowed because I don't wanna get senti. Gmail is the best way to contact. I shall reply on a daily basis :-) Even a 'hi' would mean loads people :-)

BYE!

Goodbye

So today, I fore-see
what tomorrow my world shall be
free from your ignorance
and all of my care,
the feelings can be buried
of which you weren't aware.

Free from the shackles
that would bind us through times of hell,
for the concern I had
were never perceived well.

I shall now let
the shallow painless night end;
forget the love,
you didn't even deserve to be my friend.
You walked
leaving behind the seasons Grey
And I kept sitting below the lone tree
while you partied away.

This is it, I see the end,
of the pretense, the heartless emotionless struggle
To get you back, to be yours
of togetherness, of snuggle..

At the end, I just regret
wishing for the time when we had met
hoping that you would be the one
to wipe my tears
hold me tight
say, "darling, it ll be alright"
stand by me when days were thin
no care about loss or win

Pack your bags, take off,
you've stayed here too long;
I, meanwhile shall dump the memories
that we cherished all along.
I shall no-more
look at the old oak door,
expect the phone to ring
or Gtalk to ping..
I'm happy we chose different ways
before the love deepened or stayed
for if it had been the other way round
I would have lost my soul, my sky, my ground.

Why is it so hard to let go,
If you ask so,
Only thing to be said by me
would be,
We don't give away our heart everyday,
do we?

Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat

Written in mid-sept.
Uoloaded 6th Oct @ Campusjunkie


Yes, you did it again. And Oh No, I did it again too! I will tell you what my mistake was. Your “3 mistakes of my life”

Let’s start from the starting. I have read all your books, like many of us have. Not because you are a phenomenal writer or anything, but because your books don’t leave me with any after-effects. I don’t have to bother my brain cells at all, because there is nothing to think about. Precisely, the reason why your books are popular is “the universal phenomenon of limited usage of the head.”

But no, then I realize that you are so smart that all I can do is sit back and appreciate. You sell big-time! But not because your “writing skills” are polished, because they clearly are not. This is because your “marketing skills” are refined.

They say you are “different”; now that is an absolutely unheard line. Ha ha! I want to ask what is different about you.
- The campus feel? We have been reading Nancy Drew since we were kids. And Judy blume is so much better a read.
- The ‘only’ Indian writer to have sold abroad? Kavya Vishwanathan, Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth are American.
- You have done a brave attempt of covering riots? The read through those pages left me angry (on you) and later on realization, I had tears in my eyes, of laughing.
- Your books are cheap? Oh that they are, both monetarily and creatively. But still, I would prefer to hover on blogger-world and read the absolutely brilliant attempts to story-writing. And these folks could do with a little bit of encouragement. And that is not even for 95 bucks, it is for free.
- People “relate” to your books? Obviously, you write in the language we speak. But where is the depth sir?
- The characters are “realistic”? err...
- You are a best-seller? So I should read you?

What I fail to understand is, as a writer, how can you write the same thing over and over again? How can Rupa & co, as a publishing house, publish it in 3 different colored covers? How can you awaken before the release of your books and perform a publicity stunt by going to various colleges around the country and arrange ‘book signing sessions’? For you women are just “cute, pretty, well-dressed, long-nailed, chatter-boxes with white skinny hands for your heroes to grab”? You are an IIT/IIM-A graduate, very good sir, very pleased to meet you. Every-one wants to be you. But then why are you wasting your popularity and talents that could be used in the formulating methods of distance learning for Indian youth by over-rating an already over-hyped concept of sex? What a brilliant example to set……

But then I forget that you are here for the business. Thus, Hearty congratulations, your business has bloomed. Your haphazard hard-work has finally bore fruits Yes, India is shining and you are the rising star.

And yes, some suggestions that you always keep asking us “youth” for. Why don’t you share your skills by becoming a visiting faculty of any business school? If that is too difficult to manage, become a script writer for our fultu-filmy Bollywood, atleast you will do good justice to your work.

Never-the-less, Hail the drama king. *bows*

Signing off,
Shatabdi

Deep Insight

Sometimes life takes us through such weird phases that we can't help but wait patiently for it to pass. Sometimes it is just out of our hands to change something that is happening to our dear ones. Sometimes it all seems to happen to the wrong people at the wrong time and what is saddening is, we can do nothing about it.

Some recent events unfolded in the past week that have made me see through and appreciate life for the way it is.

Meanwhile,
Our life is not just ours, our world is inter-laced with so many others that even if one thread breaks, the entire network crumbles like a castle of cards. We always imagine certain people to be instrumental in making us the way we are. Even if they are not physically present at all times, they affect us deeply.







You are always going to be loved Buru didi. My relationship with you will never change.



I have made grave mistakes in the past. Now it is time to correct them, because it is never too late to start. My blog shall not die a slow death. I shall not let that happen.

Break :-P

So I have been on the run for a while :-P

I have been everywhere but on blogger. Now writing much, not commenting much, just reading a little.

I have done two guest post recently and both for absolutely brilliant blogs and both, stories.

Here they are,

The Journey of a woman for Ki's blog

and

Toothy Tales for Shrutilaya's.


And because I have quit campusjunkie and my Disoriented Neurons has been sadly dead, I shall upload my old articles on weekends.

Here's wishing love and luck to all students appearing for exams :-)

and thanking any-one else who bothers to read.

Signing off,
Shatabdi aka express.

The urgent call for MOTIVATION

So I’ve always been a smart-ass; or at-least I’ve always been told that I was one. The problem was reciprocating that “smartness” in mark sheets. And I now know what the actual issue with me is.

I am too lazy to write the answers down in the answer book!

We have a lot of 4-6 mark questions and which ever I choose to attempt, I start well into that [1-1 n ½ page essay type] and then get bored halfway. I am all in the mode, I can go with the flow, but no; I want to write my favorite answers first, Even if they belong to different sections!

So I leave that page, promise myself that “this shall be taken care of in the half hour” and move onto the next answer and do the same thing to that! Finally I am left with too many half answers [almost half the paper] for the bloody last half hour, getting into the frame of mind for the new question takes time, hello; AND I am already too bored to write! So what? Scribble some points and leave it that way, draw some rough diagrams, at-least I will get 2 on 4 attitude sets in and soooo many 2s on 4s n 6s leaves me with actually not too many marks…

I presume too many things;

*~*The teacher knows that I know.

*~*The diagram carries max weight-age. So draw color-full diagrams taking whole 10 minutes allotted for that question.

*~*4 points will get me 2 marks.

*~*Difference between, examples not necessary,

*~*Who ‘reads’ our answers?

*~*Why sit for the whole THREE hours?

*~*No-one must’ve studied enough.

*~*Whole knowledge is important, marks are just some numbers.

*~*Attempted 70 on 100 is okayish

Arrgghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 3 years of slogging and punching myself after each exams, I have come to one consensus.

Graduation study is not about the knowledge. It is about remembering the mountainous portion, studying it and writing the whole shit down in that much time!

I don’t mess up the exams involving objective questions! My gut feel helps me there because *one of the given answers is the RIGHT answer*.

Subjective ones Kill me.

I don’t do enough justification to myself.

And the most important subjective sets of exams for the entire career in science are in 1 month’s time, April 2^nd week.

Dates got out a few days ago and they’ve hit me hard because I am done studying like the 15% of the portion, mark you, only my favorite chapters!

All these years it was okay. Doing 3 chapters among 10 was fine. But in the university level they set kinda tough question papers; so we need to be through with at-least the portion and out of portion questions can be left in option. But with me the case is poles apart. I read books and don’t pay attention to teacher’s notes, complete knowledge is important you see; so I usually have a rough idea about the out of portion stuff and go to write that and by which usually mess up major.

I know that I should study, but I some-how don’t.

When there are so many better things to do, who will? Amazing friends on the phone; gmail chat, iPod, camera, paints, cell phone games, facebook applications and the likes; Plus, I am bored, tired, bored, hungry, bored, sleepy; most of the day!

BUT

THIS IS NO EXCUSE.

Only I can save/prove myself.

So people, pump in the impetus, get me going towards the final exams. Study tips, wishes, black-mailing [even abusing], tried and tested formulae; Come up with anything that can help me in the long run. Make me realize of my wrong-doings now than sympathizing with my grief later.

P.S. Engineers! And as I see too many of them on my blog-roll; last minute study tips please; 4 weeks 42 chapters; not humanly impossible I know, but I should keep sitting on that study table of mine. Needless-to-say, I should get back right now!

The Most important People in My life.

Okay so I am on a blog-break. Unexpected, not of a fixed duration either. So, I have a lot of apologies to ask for and a lot of tales to narrate. But that is not what I am here for.

I am here for another dedication post! This time on valentine’s day :-)
What I used to think of love last year is here. [which was also my claim to fame on blogger-world :-D]. But well, I’ve come a long way.

Dedicated to the 55 most important and influencing people in 19 years of my life

Important because they supported me when I could see no friendly face around;
Important because I can’t imagine my life without them
Important because I care about them, in the same way that they care about me.
Important because I love them and I know I don’t say it enough.

So here they are; the most influential and imperative set of people to me.

Aditi Gupta: The intersection of the web and real worlds for me. Ruia college would be different if you were not around. Keep in touch.

Aishwarya Shevade: One of my pune PG room-mates and one friend I wanna treasure for life. You made the schedule in Pune easy, Thank-you.

Akshay Pai: One of the sweetest guys I know. You are a gr8 friend, please stay the same way.

Alisha Iyer: :-) I don’t have enough words, but yea, you do come in this list :-) Thanks for being there when I needed you.

Alok Meshram: One of my very good friends and definitely one person I am proud of. I am sorry if I have ever hurt you. You mean a lot to me, always remember that.

Alpana Mallick: I miss you when I see pairs of girls on the roads of sec-17. You will always remain my favorite company for mini-sea-shore. Always.

Amruta Bhate: The beginning of our friendship was an edventure by itself and well, it has been an absolute delight knowing you :-). [Yea, you are not the only one who can lie well :-P]

Anindita Debnath: You are the best, you know that. I just regret one thing; not hugging you when we met.

Annsu Joseph: Please forgive me for not keeping in touch. Losing a friend like you would break my heart. Thinking of you will always bring a smile to my face.

Anurag Chatterjee: Yea, you. Take good care and the next time you annoy me, I ll take your case, again :-P

Apurva Shinde: JC would have been hell without people like you around. Be a good doc man and yea, don’t let Priyanka take the same specialization as you; we need variety in the family :-P

Ashish Mehta: You rock! And we as a pair rock! We killed in antakshari finally! Thanks gal, for giving me that joy and a wonderful final year college festival.

Bhagyashree Kaduskar: Thanks to you I had a great time in Pakhnikar’s. You stuck to me as your bench partner despite my weirdness and I value that.

Bhai with Chai: I remember how our posts used to collide and how we used to be the first people to comment. Kyu gayab ho jati ho? Kyu? :-(

Bhaiya: :-) I hated you, loved you, missed you, idolized you, learnt so much from you. The blood bond did work for us, no? I am glad that I am a sister of a guy like you.

Buru Didi: Oh, you got married :-( But still you are my elder sister whom I look up to :-) Your Mumbai trip was such an amazing experience that I want you to come back with Jiju, again :-)

Dhvani Desai: Ma’am, I miss you. You are so far away but the amino acids always remind us of you. We always talk of you and how FY was so much fun with you. Please take care ma’am.

Divya Rao: Diu: I think of you and my heart sinks. Diu, baby, you are so sweet that I couldn’t help but learn so many things from you. You are the only person whom I said the love words in the first meet and well, I still mean it.

Ishaan Kumar: My guide through metal music and someone who continues to remind me that I have a long way to go in your kinda music :-P Me still the female version? Eh?

Jay Unni: You are mentally retarded. But you give good advice at midnight.

Jyotsna Nambiar: Joey: You are a gr8 friend gal. I fondly remember all the fun times I had with you. I hope you feel the same way about me, tc!

Ketki Deshpande: Yea, Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart! If not in school, after school you are one of the people I fondly remember of childhood days.

Kirti Aparajita Kumar: I ve prolly not said too many time, but yes, you matter to me. We have not spent ages together, thanks to the final year, but I value our friendship.

Komal Pawar: I hope you read this and thus I hope you know that I consider you as a friend that I value. May you reach all heights and may our friendship blossom.

Krutika Phalnikar: Kuku: You are one of the friendliest people I have come across till date. I love your spirit gal. Plus you taught me so much about animals and birds that I can’t stop myself from trying to recognize them and check it on the net next :-P

Ma: I am the worst daughter there is. But I am proud of the way you are. I love you ma, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Madhura Rane: All the advices and all the chatting; I miss you as one of the first friends I made in Ruia. You are cute, and I like you just the way you are. No matter what, stay the same.

Maity Kaku: The person who makes me realize that we are sent to the world to appreciate others, not hurt. Your survival instinct makes me fight back, always.

Manik: The cutest cranky kid ever. I am glad we made friends and you messages and missed calls mean so much to me, that words don’t do enough justice to describe the bond we share. Don’t be surprised if I cry on the farewell [with you].

Manjari Madanan: :-) We meet at the most unexpected places and ‘that’ is the special bond. Manj, you are a true rockstar. I have learnt so much from you that the testimonial I wrote is just not enough.

Mansi Gandhi: You are one person I wanna hold onto all my life for pep-talks. You always manage to show me sense in a directionless path and that makes you special. I have never felt of you as a senior, will never.

Munu: Rohini Chatterjee: My kid sis! My baby sista! I love you soo much! Don’t follow my footsteps, carve your own path and then, I shall be proud of you :-)

Navjyot Bandiwadekar: Navvy: You matter, you know. One of the people who chooses to be with me when others are invisible. You comfort me, reassure me that this is no end and my dear, if what I call, ‘a true friend’.

Papa: You are my favorite person in the world; nuff said. I love you!

Pooja Gudibanda: Our friendship has last so long that I have now begun to feel its magnificence. 14 years? Eh? Thanks for being around gal, your friendship has been a sheer delight!

Poorva Chavan: My golu polu baby! My partner in all the ups and downs in tunga! Without you, ‘that disastrous internship’ would have cost me with my life. You made it fun for me!

Prerna Chawla: The first friend I made in college and definitely the person who continues to understand me the best. You know what I want, you know what I should want :-P The chairperson of My advisory board. A friend I have for life.

Priya Titus: Talking to you calms me down. I love you because you are proud of the way you are. A gem of a friend, definitely!

Raghunath Prabhu: The only guy whom I felt like making my brother in the very first meet and well, that tastings meet is one of my fondest memories in Chembur. Keep in touch man and yea, you know the job setting :-D

Richa Palekar: You comment, I like it; just coz I know that you genuinely care. I hope it remains the same way, always :-)

Ridhiman Banerjee: Is my list of top 50 important people complete without you? I don’t think so.

Rucha Kamath: You are the coolest senior I know. I am glad you were mine! :-D

Sachi Mahajan: Okay, barring the last 1 month, shes always been around in the brightest and the darkest days. And which younger sister is never mad at her elder? Yes, that’s our bond. If you din already know, I love you like I would love my sister. Koi shak?

Sanyal Jethu: His words penetrate me like arrows, his encouragement actually makes me feel as if I can fly. He has been a constant source of motivation since god knows how many years and I value that.

Savita Pakhnikar: Influencial? Ofcourse. My course instructor and philosopher n guide. I take this opportunity 2 thank you ma’am, for constantly pumping in the required energy in all of us.

Sayali Churi: My best friend. As confused and directionless as me. But prolly the most lively and cute person on the face of the earth.

Shabarni Gupta: My identical in all respects twin.

Shubho dada: My favorite cousin brother, always. Support system and is like the magnetic pointer. I somehow know that I am gonna end up like him :-P

Sneha G: I know we don’t talk much now a days, but there was a phase when I used to wait all day to talk to you in the afternoon. I don’t know how much it made a difference to you, but on me, it had a very different kind of impact. You are a special friend sneha, yes, my rock guru :-P

Sneha Sansare: You made pune tolerable. Thanks for all the laughter and kidding.

Surabhi Rao: Now, You are one of the first people to know if I am upto anything. Don’t you think that means something? :-P Whatever anyone might say, I can trust you with my life. Period.

Surekha Rao: I have never looked at you as my friend’s sister. You have been a friend, cute and smart little friend dear. Hope it stays that way. :-)

Tejas Mukadam: Don’t be surprised if I ask you for advice even after I pass out :-P and yea, for record, you are gonna pay for the bike ride and ice-cream when I decide to suicide. I think of you and I am reminded of Mahabaleshwar. Thanks for the best vacation of my life man.

Trinaa: All the other kidding is fine, but I am glad that we are such special kind of friends. Superpoke mein kuch bacha hai toh who bhi kar de :-P

Vishal Ramrakhyani: I remember how you used to meet me everytime you dropped by Ruia. I am proud by the decisions you took in your life and really hope that it works for you :-)

I can never include every-one who matters, but then these are the ones who are like life-support systems to me.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.