Friday, November 27, 2009

Do I not belong here anymore?

It smells a little different in here
not like it did when I had left
the fresh calm is no more in the air
Now it is stale, almost suffocating.

The furniture has been moved, I notice
The lock to the main-door is changed,
A gleaming new washing-machine has replaced
the cabinet that held my belongings.

I can't figure out the keys
Neither the switches to the fan or light
There are marks on the wall that did not exist
New frames that I have never seen before.

My room looks familiar though
Nothing has been touched since four months ago
Still somehow I feel like i'm sleeping on someone else's bed
Hogging on someone else's space.

This someone else is me that I was back then
Carefree, Teenager, Thoughtless, Easy;
The someone that I have become now
Nomadic, Over-Planned, Measured, Mystery.

Both are strangers to each other.
She belonged, I don't feel the strings attached,
She just spoke, never thought,
I think and sometimes, never speak;
She flew, she wrote, she laughed a lot
She trusted, I don't;
She loved, I won't.

It's almost like I don't belong here;
I hate to admit but I'm jealous of her
Not very long ago, she was me
And now, I am someone I don't want to be.

Mamma-Papa are the same though;
some wrinkles are new, some kilos here and there
But its the same warmth that I used to feel
when I was she.

I'll always be their princess maybe
Always, the little one
So coming to them will always be like
coming home, whichever house it might be.

16 comments:

soin said...

atleast youre back home..anyways been there..felt it all..you just become used to this oscillation after a couple of times.free

sickboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deluded said...

stale air? haww. bechaare plants ka kya hua?


@ sick boy

you are sick, dude!

Anurag said...

aahh feelings after u get home after a long time...Don't know if I'll reciprocate the same feeling when I go back home after a while!..

You wrote a whole poem/whatever.. abt it..Cute :D

Misanthropist said...

welcome back!!!

She was naive and vulnerable perhaps
and it was only for the betterment that she has metamorphosed into you.
<3

See u soon!

Trinaa said...

same pinch jaanu.. :(

Alok said...

+1 Misanthropist's comment.

metal-militant said...

Hey,you only change if you let the mechanics of society trap you in their gears.The idea is to be the big fat stone that gets caught in the mechanism and refuses to let the gears turn you.

You possess that ability.I wouldn't have said so if it wasn't true.

May the Force be with you.

divinediu said...

I relate to it. Not completely maybe. But I do.

Urv said...

Blogged. Check when free :)

Emaan said...

what a brilliant poem, Express ! enjoyed it thoroughly.. im going thru the same phase .. just entered my 2nd year of life on the planet and its not been too bad !

VIDYA said...

Wow.Lovely poem,this.
I feel like this when I go back to my old town and visit the place I used to live in too.
First time at your blog!Cheers!
Keep your thoughts alive :)

Express said...

I do not know why I never replied to all the comments on this post. I guess because of the emotional attachment I have with the post, hmm..

sion: Indeed. But i always feel special when I am home. Mumbai has that effect on people :)

deluded: :-/

Anurag: You will! and you are :)

Express said...

Priyanka and Alok:
I didnt get it then, I do now..

:)


Tri:
:) Hum dono abhi ghar pe majje maar rahe hai. Co-incidence?

Express said...

Ishaan:
it is reasons like these that make you very dear to me. :)


diu:
I'm glad you do.

Express said...

Emaan:
Heha! Thanks for the appreciation and yes, your comment did brighten up my day :)


Vidya:
Welcome to the blog.
and thanks for the wish :)