With every decision you have ever made, you will live

When you wander too close to the edge of the cliff;

The heart races, almost palpitating..
Your gut twitches and the brain signals one thousand SOS!
Every sense wrongs you, every feeling is inhibitory
All you hear is, No.
Panic alarms go off, sound like a siren, pounding against your ear.
Consciously, you can feel the ground, every grain, every pebble, every single crevice.
Your body screams, just get back to reality and walk away.

But something inside you refuses.
Words start flowing through your head.
Fear, safety, reason, survival, deception, impulse, courage, curiosity, excitement, adventure!

What’s the worst that could happen?
So many things! You're stupid!
Every cell in you pleads, to give up, asking you to stop!

You want to quit, to take a time-out.
Terrified, almost trembling, you dare!
to take a look into what lies beyond.
The sea calms you a little.
Shuts every sensation for a second.
In this very moment you know that you have to.
You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't.

As your legs take the plunge, your heart sinks.
Brain dies temporarily and you freeze
You don't think anymore. You feel.
Like you've never felt before.
 It’s good, Very good.

 *splash*

The Gym, the guys and the water-cooler..

Yes, I finally agreed that I don't like what I see in the mirror and resolved to change it. When I was new to it, I hated it. But well, you have to get used to some things in life and so did I. What I did not realize was that, going to the gym can be very dangerous. With all the eye-candy around, It is like walking on a highway's yellow line. A little toe here or there can get you killed :-/

You ask me how? I will tell you.
You can never make out a guy's age at the gym.

Doesn't sound horrifying enough? You wait till you hear the stories!

So I am 22, right? So ideally, guys I would consider would be 22-26, right? All this while in a college set-up, it was very easy to choose guys to chase; considering that your batch kinda gives away your age. But at a gym, no-one looks their age!

The guy who started talking to me first turned out to be 19! Children these days! They start gyming from school days and puff-up their bodies to look 10 years elder!
He asked me what I did and called me "Didi" to burn down all my emotions :(

There was this one exercise that I was doing wrong and this gym-member corrected me. So that led to a very interesting conversation about muscle tone and yes, interesting conversations are always a turn ON! But, my bad luck soon caught-up and he asked me, "Which standard are you in, Beta?"
At first I thought he wasn't talking to me. But then, to my horror, he pointed and repeated the question. I knew he was much elder than me and I guessed 30ish. What I didn't know was that he was a 42 year old 6-pack obsessed uncle.

Now you see why I said that about gym and men!?

Well, My initial days at the gym were spent lusting a tall-fair-chubby guy who always wore blue clothes. I'll call him Blue-boy (BB) :P. So, after 1 whole week of eye-contact and timid smiles, we have a dialogue. He was skipping in the courtyard and I was sent there for jogging-rounds.
BB: (stops hastily) You need the rope?
Me: What!?
BB: Rope, skipping rope! (with animated actions)
Me: Oh! I heard something totally bizarre!
BB: What did you hear?
Me: Dope. (sly smile :P)
BB: Haha! Wow. I can use some of that right now! God knows that losing weight the straight way is tough!
Me: Err.. I should get started on those rounds..
BB: Listen, I don't do drugs ha!
Me: Huh?
BB: I mentioned needing pot right? I don't do it.
Me: Good for you. (tightening my shoe-laces to take off)
BB: No, believe me. I'm very much against all vices. I have even stopped talking to my friends who began smoking.
Me: OK. (straight-face)
BB: I don't befriend smokers or dopers or alcoholics or arts students because they are usually smokers or dopers or alcoholics. You aren't a student of arts, right?
Me: No, but..
BB: I knew it! And you are not Marathi either! I'm not very fond of Marathi-people.
Me: Hmm. You know what? I need to be running now and you should jump. So I guess we can talk later..
BB: Aree no, Why you getting into formality?! I'm taking a break anyway. So, where was I? Yes, I don't like Marathis or Punjabis. I might look like a Punjabi, but I'm actually a Sindhi. You are not a Sindhi, are you?
Me: Nope. But I need to run now. So, bye!

Since that day, every time I see him, he comes to gym wearing a white tee which says "No Smoking". This has been on since so long that now, I can openly judge him to be someone worth avoiding forever.


So yea, there was sweaty-sweeterson, adidas-ganji-guy, smug-face, black-gloved knight, Garfield-butt, lifts-like-a-girl, stares-at-the-wrong-place, Tom-cruise-lookalike, brown-eyes-chin-dimple etc etc; but they don't come at my time, so who cares!


And now the mystery of the water-cooler! Tan-tana!!

So while one works out, one takes a water break. So, in 1 hour, I drink water about 3-4 times. The time-out at the cooler is a perfect opportunity for one to make conversation with others. So, being the observant person I am, I have noticed that during crowded hours, when a hot girl makes her way towards the cooler, guys choose to take time-outs and rush there :P

I noticed that this one person, [lets call him Creepy-eyes (CE)] started coming to the cooler when I was there. I found it so weird that I started carrying my own bottle to the gym :-/


Such stuff happens everywhere, It depends how you choose to react to them. I have decided that gym-guys are not for me. They are just good to look at; but when you interact with them, you wish the earth would tear apart and swallow them whole! Or they are taken and you wouldn't want them to think of you as a cling-on.

So, Gym is strictly for nirmal anand (mild entertainment) and for other stuff, we have the blogs ;) :P

Grayscale

Love. The chase. The madness.
Essence of Life. Hyped concept.
The lust for more and more of Love.

Honesty. Frank open-mouthed-ness.
Clears the air. Guilt-free.
or Honesty which is abrasive, Raw.

Abuse. Inappropriate, unconventional.
The vices. Indulgence,
or Exploitation of another's space / property.

Want. Desire.
To let the urges take over the whole of you.
To not regret anything, Ever.

Religion. To worship and how.
Wash brains, cleanse souls, follow rituals.
To believe or make-believe.

Respect. Or the sheer absence of it.
Towards something that is available for free.
For someone's feelings.


Resilience. Intolerance. Frustration. Envy.
Calculation. Reasoning. Brainstorming all Pros and Cons.
Emotion. Heart. Flowing with the heart.

Pain.
Or Happiness in else's pain.



Nothing is wrong. And Nothing is right.
It's just a frame of one's mind.

Spontaneous Funtaneous!

Before I go ahead with the post, I would solemnly agree that I don't swim in money like Scrooge McDuck does. I am not a poor person's daughter/sister, but being a student, I'm perpetually WBPL.. yes, Way Below Poverty Line.

But that does not restrict me from making plans with my friends. Plans for 2-3 day trips or even a random 1 day visit to a nearby landmark. The thing is, in my small way, I try to make the best of places and time available to me. If my parents permit, the budget is higher.. if they don't, the luxuries need to be laid off.

Somehow, all I have learned is that, The less money I spend, the more fun I have!
Ironic, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong.. I love it when I have luxurious vacations with my parents. Traveling in big cars, beach-facing suites, no shopping budget what-so-ever, everything pre-planned and all you need to do is: 'stick to the plan'!
But there is just so much of 'paneer makkhanwala + naan' that you can eat!!

In the last 3 years, I have immensely experimented with cuisine and people. Hence, a little more enlightened Shatabdi confesses that she has had a VERY good time!
Done a lot of crazy things.. But I am enlisting My most favorite 11.

*!* Ordering food at a road-side dhaba by saying "Jo hai, le aao" (Bring whatever is available). Eating 1 plate of everything among 5 people and paying 200 bucks.

*!* Changing in a disgusting loo where normal people would never even set a foot. And then after wards describing the feces to gross people out :P

*!* Getting out of home without knowing the means of travel. Break-journeying in auto 5 times! and later laughing about the fucked up backside.

*!* Celebrating a birthday party at an unknown person's rooftop.

*!* Drinking 4 kinds of unidentified (non-alcoholic :P) liquids just for experimentation. Further, mixing those drinks to make a Grey liquid and drinking that. All of this in a ultra-posh mumbai cafe. Yes, the kinds where film stars walk in :P

*!* Commuting for 23 minutes with 8 people in a 3 seater auto-rickshaw.
*!* Sleeping with 7 people (non-sexually) on 2 mattresses in a friend's friend's friend's boyfriend's house :D

*!* Playing a beach ball game with absolute strangers and terribly losing it :P

*!* Living for 3 days in a room with moss green dripping walls, 1 bulb and Giant insects. AC didn't work and fan showered dust. Thank-god it was in a hill-station!

*!* Traveling in a public bus that was literally about to fall apart.

*!* Getting lost and then mugged and finally, spending the night at Lonavala Bus depot!

Been there, done that! :D


All I am trying to say is that, to get to know a place one has to wander the streets. I lived in a fantastic city like Hyderabad for 2 odd years and did everything that was there to do. Next, I intend to check out some foreign country where language and cash isn't the barrier. OR even a trip just-by-myself sounds fun, but I am not sure if I am mature enough to handle that.

Also, I do not click pictures. Other people do and I choose and collect them. That way, I can absorb a lot more than worrying about "the perfect angle." No offense to the photographer-types, but well, that is just not something for me.

The intention of this post is not to brag about the unusual things that I have done. It was in fact to try and break the stereotype that 'fancier trips are more fun trips'. Call me crazy, but if I take a mountain-top trek, I drink the naturally precipitated water! That is something that makes me feel real close to mother nature.

I would really love it if my partner chooses to go to a national park for our honeymoon. Because all said and done, the best way of doing it, is the way nomads did it :P :P
So, what was your most memorable trip?


P.S. I do not want to encourage kids to run away from home, just to try and have some fun. My parents always knew where I was and how to reach me. Keeping a toe beyond the line once in a while is okay, but we must always be responsible.

Critical Connection

I travel a lot. No, I don't go to 'explore new places' or 'meet new people', I just travel between two cities 790 kms away from each other. You see, one of them is where my heart belongs (Mumbai) and well, the other is where I am trapped since last 2 years (Hyderabad). 17 hours far away by train. And I would just reiterate that, My love for railways has nothing to do with my name!

I run home-wards, almost every chance I get. It is not a VERY long journey, so if I plan it well, I can manage to meet the most important people to me, every couple months. But that is not what this post is about.

Because of the frequency of my travel and my insistence to experiment with different kinds of people, I choose to usually travel by the 2nd class sleeper coaches. And invariable of the route, or the time, or the season, or my seat number, I end up sitting at the compartment that has one of these,

yes, The emergency window!!

Sometimes I feel as if these things follow me whenever I travel. I have had them in ac coaches, in chair-cars, at seat number 1, at air planes.. sometimes even at private buses. Its almost like god is asking me to take a safe exit from my current plans in life and take up safer assignments.

Another thing that I have noticed is that, these windows manage to not catch up with me when I am traveling with my mother. Does this mean that she is my safety cover?

Have I totally gone crazy?

All for the little glow :P

This is the most hilarious conversation I've ever had. Adult content: Unsuitable for children.

So, I was spending the night at a good friend's place and both of us were neither sleepy nor at the loss of conversation-starters. Hence, began random chatter that took the most ridiculous turns and finally lead to explosive laughter.

Me: The best way of Contraception? Condoms right?
She: Yea, but there are so many kinds! How does one know which type is best?
Me: Well, to keep the fun alive, I guess all people can do is 'experiment'..
She : Yea! So, there is dotted, and flavored, and lubricated, and?
Me: I dunno the regular things, but I do know that Kamasutra was trying to pull off something called 'glowing condoms' :P

*roar of laughter*

She: Huh? Really now!
Me: Yea, it never got through the quality checks I think. But some friend's friend was an auditor and could lay his hands on some complimentary ones. I don't know how effective they are, but sound quite entertaining..
She: Haha!
Me: Yea man! They had 2 colours as far as I remember. Green and Red. It reminds me of the signal lights :P
She: Only 2 colours? They should have experimented more re!
Me: Aree, green for husband and red for secret lover. So that she would know whose name to scream :D The Promotional ad makers should totally take our idea! :D
She: LOL! But if the husband was to return while the extra-marital action was on, the curtains is the most obvious place to hide right? But he would get caught because of the glowing thing man! Then whats the fun?
Me: Yea! Ad cancel. We have to come up with more convincing ideas that appeal to more people...

*Brain-storming begins*

She: We need more variety!
Me: Yea! Shocking pink for girly gurls..
She: Grey with a little shine for smart professional chics!
Me: Yeahh.. black would be hot too! But then whats the point of all the illumination... :-/
She: Haha! Oh, we need something for the elderly. Ah! White glow for senior citizens!
Me: Abbe, woh cfl k tarah jalega!

*roar of laughter*

She: The advertisement for this thing would be damn appealing. Electricity chali jaati hai and then the wife cooks for her dear husband in the brightness of his thing :P
Me: Dude, so, if they use a glass top dining table....
She: Instead of candle light dinner... they would have d*ck-light dinner!!!

*roar of laughter*

Me: One solid colour will get boring after a while nah.. If we could have varied patterns and designs the trend is more likely to stay sustained.
She: Oh! There should be alternate lighting, like the diwali LED lights!
Me: Cool stuff!! But a fluorescent dye won't be able to do that! We will need a power source. Battery would be cumbersome re..
She: Yea.. and electricity laya bhi toh power cord kaha se niklega?
Me: Butt se niklega

*roar of laughter*

Me: Uska bhi ad hona chahiye!!
She: Yea.. so after a long hard day when a couple goes to sleep.. husband pyar se bolega, "Darling, light off kar do.. and mera d*ck on kar do!!"

*roar of laughter*

Me: Dude! That will be a revolution! We should really contact some companies and sell them our multi-million dollar ideas!
She: Of course! But then we are supposed to be 'GOOD' girls who don't really know about all these things :D Plus, it is too much effort!
Me: Yea.. But we had the idea first! So, we should have some proof..

*Brain-storming continues*

*Laziness and sleep take over*

*Followed by a very bizarre dream and drowsy morning where we couldn't really look each other in the eye*

:P

BUT,
we would all agree, Glow toh chahiye boss! :D :D

Life is too simple if you don't complicate it!

Academics, love-life, hygiene, image, popularity, impression on elders, rapport with teachers, statement of purpose, short-term goals of life, Long term goals of life, keeping parents content, denying distant relatives a reason to pick on you, phone bills, random friend's birthday present contribution share, boyfriend/girlfriend trouble, heart-aches, deadlines, interviews, books to read, things to do, movies to watch, etc etc.. There are so much stuff that an average young adult is responsible for.

Every single time when I think that I have gained expertise in one aspect, other ones start falling apart. Managing ones’ life effectively is more difficult than probably managing a multi-national company! Just that a lot is on stake in case of the so called 'managers', but all of us do manage by, don't we?

Thinking about how one can change their life into something better is probably the world's favorite way of passing time. What we fail to realize is that, at some point of time, we have to loosen the strain on improvement and care about making the best of what we have. Cribbing about life doesn't make it better, it only creates negativity which is very difficult to get rid of.

There has to be a simpler way of living. More richer, more fulfilling..

Appreciate; yourself, others, their efforts.. Understand; what the universe is trying to tell you.. Realize; that it's never too late to make a fresh start. Try; to like the choices available to you.. and choose, the one choice that makes me most happy.

Easy to talk and difficult to walk?

I am going to try. There is everything to gain.

I need to be me tonight

I need a recap tonight
a recap of all mistakes I've done
of all the people I've hurt
and all the disasters, just for fun

I need a car tonight
to run me down memory lane
to make me realise how much time I wasted
all the partial effort, down the drain

I need a new friend tonight
who'd just listen to me go on and on
would neither judge me, nor advice
He'd just leave me on my own

I need to do the right thing tonight
because I've always done what's wrong
never listened, have always imposed
always tried to show, I'm strong

I need to lose myself tonight
so that I can find me again
one day when the sun shall rise
There will be no chance of any rain.

Dreams

When you hear the word 'Dream', what is the first thought that comes to your mind?
A recurring nightmare?
Something you always wanted to be?
Someplace you always wanted to visit?
Someone you always wanted to be with?
An absolute feeling of elation or that of downright misery..

What do these visions mean? Do they show you some things about yourself that are hidden so deep down, yet are so strong that they have to surface in some way or the other? Something you are, something you want to be, something you actually CAN be.

If not in sleep, we dream while we are awake. Then try to achieve them. Succeed, fail or fail miserably. Then dream some more. A dreamer will always be a dreamer; how easy or difficult his dreams might be.


Visualization is the key to achieving. Till you don’t see yourself winning, there is no-way you will work for it, and until you do work, nothing can be achieved. Not my words, some-one wise once said these to me.

I meanwhile have been a pessimist all along. Aim low, if you get more, it’s a happy surprise! No expectations = no disappointments; Always worked for me. Ignorant as I was, did not realize that achieving the goals is the whole point of aiming and till you are going to be satisfied with what you have, how are you ever going to get what you deserve?



So then the journey began, of fantasy, of vividness, of ecstasy, of beauty.. :-)

Here I am,
the way I like myself to be;
with the visions in my eyes
dreams for today in my heart..
Rustling past the slow world
Towards the me I want to be.

So, dream on honey
Of the bright days, blue skies,
Of pretty birds and soulful meadows
Of us, tomorrow and today

And if you simply cannot
However hard you try,
Unable to see yourself there, amongst the not real?
I’ll do the dreaming for the two of us.

P.S. This was my 100th published post. Milestone in a beautiful journey. Thanks for being a part of it. :)

We didn't start the fire

We just took a burning match and dropped it in the bottle full of alcohol.


Never. We will never take responsibility of our wrong doing; And even if something good happens and we were not even remotely involved in it, all we try to do is 'gain some credit'!

Well that's human tendency and we humans tend to do many things.
Generalize
Judge someone
Not smile often
not reply back 'hellos'
cut phone calls coz we are bored
just be bored
just be lazy
Miss the wrong people
blame others
Not accept change

all human tendencies
and all irrelevant.
Or is it so?

Food for thought: Treat others the way you want to be treated back.

I WANT!

I don't want to lose the dream that I chased for over a year

I don't want to be the girl who screeches if her hair touches the dusty leaves of the tree standing in the middle of the road

I don't want to regret the being their for near ones,
the lending of shoulder for my mother to cry, when she missed her favorite kid.


I don't want to end up with a guy who doesn't know how to behave

I don't want to understand someone who cannot appreciate me for who I am

I don't want to have fake living friends,
just coz we have spent ages together.


I don't want to not be able to tell my best friend how much I love him

I don't want to see the shot pigeon die a worm's death

I don't want to celebrate World Environment Day
and not do anything about the dying planet and its life-forms.


I don't want to forcefully take something
because all other options were shut.


I want to live
my life
the way I WANT!



P.S. Another Blog break :-) 28th June is the last day when it all ends. Meanwhile I shall visit my dream university. Wish me luck :-)

Gyan Share: Being nice to people isn't expensive. It just costs a little bit of compassion and understanding for a big award of happiness. :-)

Telephonic conversations

When boredom is difficult to cope
when one gives up all his hope;
The telephone rings with the dear one's call
Leaving you behind in telepathy's enthrall.

When he gives you that first sparkling ring
You are just assured that this is no fling thing...
Dial that number, let all buddies know
That You-Him-and the Ring, make the perfect combo!

However busy we all might be...
We can never thank Graham Bell enough for his discovery
That little device in your pocket mister
Is the result of some-one's sweat's glister

Happy? Sad? Dying? Flying? or.. Broken?
Bugged of carrying along life's burden?
Fikar not, we are all down the same lane
and just to remain sane,
Keep it ringing!

:D

Post dedicated to all the heart-to-heart conversations with Sachi, Deluded, Anindita, Aditi, Samby, Ridhiman, Trinaa, Diu, Soham, Ki and Laya :) :)


Gyan Share: Love is not something that happens to you. It is a conscious decision that you take. So, take it wisely than just being blind. - Misanthropist

Home Alone

Ah yes, You read right.

No-one at my place, barring the plants for company.. Why I specifically mention them? Because watering my mother's 70 odd pots each day, is a pain in the wrong place :-| It's times like these for which I keep asking my parents for a Pet Dog, or a Gold fish even.

But then, ah, yes.. I'm not complaining!

I've lived by myself in pune, but that's NOTHING when compared to staying at your place without constant parental scrutiny. I can cook my own food, do my own thing, talk on phone for hours together; in short, be my own self! There is a long list of things that I can't do, but I'm not getting into all that.

There was this long list of 'instructions' that my mum had to deliver [and continues delivering over the phone] that initially were funny, then the same lines started sounding out of concern, but now they are plain annoying.

*!* Put the milk in the refrigerator. [Who drinks milk when you are away?]

*!* Water the plants. [Yes mumma]

*!* Don't open the door to strangers. [I'm almost 20!]

*!* Water the plants. [Oh yes]

*!* Don't keep the kitchen messy. [Like you'd know, ha!]

*!* Water the plants. [:-|]

*!* You can identify chloroform, right? [Till I identify, I'll be in Switzerland, At least in the dream! ]

*!* Water the plants. [Heard of drip irrigation?]

*!* Puja karna, roz, subah sham. [?]

*!* Water the plants. [Why couldn't you just keep 10, favorite ones?]

*!* If you don't keep your bed crisp clean, bad omens will enter the house. [I never did that even when you were here. Additional work is cheating!]

*!* Water the plants. [Could I just throw them down the terrace? But then I'll have to throw 7-8 a day, they are SO MANY!]

*!* Computer lock karke jau kya? [how the hell do you do that?!? Plus, Oh hello! I'd DIE!]

*!* Water the plants. [Has some-one told you that you own a mini-jungle?]

*!* The house-maid comes at 7 a.m. every morning.

WHAT!
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS CALLS THE MAID @ 7!?!?
I don't mind 8, but 7, SEVEN?

And they call up @ 7 every morning [even sunday] to see how awake I am :-|

Parents... argh!
They always ruin ALL the fun! x-(


P.S. Its getting boring now. Drop me some tips no.

P.P.S. A lil bitta gyan sharing. Never ask a guy "What's up?" Unless you want weird answers :P

Giving up

You wish, you dream, you want,
Life to be a certain way
And then one disappointment
Simply washes all hope away..

You fight, think positive, you deny
Raise your head; Oh! You want to fly
Reach that goal, show the world
Your worth, ability to reach that dream
Seen with open eyes and not, on your bed curled

But why does it have to make you suffer?
Make it more difficult, all of the queer?
More struggle, sweat, tears as exam nears
More night outs, perseverance, biggest fears..
Just to reach that illusion you saw
As your dream
As your desire
As your bloody need!

Maybe coz God just wants it
to taste it a little more sweet
When you succeed, reach that aim
Not tarnish your daddy’s fame
Be that daughter who did not give up
Despite that massive career blow-up..

I guess it’s just a phase
And 2 years later I would laugh at my craze
To type all emotional turmoil on my blog
When I should just study and slog
But I feel better and you would agree
It helps, makes you feel better, free.



:-D :-D

Still in Pune. Life sucks. Food sucks. Schedule sucks worse.
And as you just read,
I am lovin it!

:-D

Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat

Written in mid-sept.
Uoloaded 6th Oct @ Campusjunkie


Yes, you did it again. And Oh No, I did it again too! I will tell you what my mistake was. Your “3 mistakes of my life”

Let’s start from the starting. I have read all your books, like many of us have. Not because you are a phenomenal writer or anything, but because your books don’t leave me with any after-effects. I don’t have to bother my brain cells at all, because there is nothing to think about. Precisely, the reason why your books are popular is “the universal phenomenon of limited usage of the head.”

But no, then I realize that you are so smart that all I can do is sit back and appreciate. You sell big-time! But not because your “writing skills” are polished, because they clearly are not. This is because your “marketing skills” are refined.

They say you are “different”; now that is an absolutely unheard line. Ha ha! I want to ask what is different about you.
- The campus feel? We have been reading Nancy Drew since we were kids. And Judy blume is so much better a read.
- The ‘only’ Indian writer to have sold abroad? Kavya Vishwanathan, Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth are American.
- You have done a brave attempt of covering riots? The read through those pages left me angry (on you) and later on realization, I had tears in my eyes, of laughing.
- Your books are cheap? Oh that they are, both monetarily and creatively. But still, I would prefer to hover on blogger-world and read the absolutely brilliant attempts to story-writing. And these folks could do with a little bit of encouragement. And that is not even for 95 bucks, it is for free.
- People “relate” to your books? Obviously, you write in the language we speak. But where is the depth sir?
- The characters are “realistic”? err...
- You are a best-seller? So I should read you?

What I fail to understand is, as a writer, how can you write the same thing over and over again? How can Rupa & co, as a publishing house, publish it in 3 different colored covers? How can you awaken before the release of your books and perform a publicity stunt by going to various colleges around the country and arrange ‘book signing sessions’? For you women are just “cute, pretty, well-dressed, long-nailed, chatter-boxes with white skinny hands for your heroes to grab”? You are an IIT/IIM-A graduate, very good sir, very pleased to meet you. Every-one wants to be you. But then why are you wasting your popularity and talents that could be used in the formulating methods of distance learning for Indian youth by over-rating an already over-hyped concept of sex? What a brilliant example to set……

But then I forget that you are here for the business. Thus, Hearty congratulations, your business has bloomed. Your haphazard hard-work has finally bore fruits Yes, India is shining and you are the rising star.

And yes, some suggestions that you always keep asking us “youth” for. Why don’t you share your skills by becoming a visiting faculty of any business school? If that is too difficult to manage, become a script writer for our fultu-filmy Bollywood, atleast you will do good justice to your work.

Never-the-less, Hail the drama king. *bows*

Signing off,
Shatabdi

Learning lessons, Turning pages

Scars of the past, in my head
Dissatisfied, yet fulfilling
Alone, without a breach
I gush to another destination.

2008.
A year full of surprises and shocks, utmost highs and deepest lows, so much planning and organizing.
And now, 2009, time to implement, time to act to achieve what I planned for.

Is it what I want? I do not know.
But should I not achieve, I shall let hearts down.
Which is not what I want. Thus the chase. My name has already been enrolled for the rat-race; all I have to do now is run the race, because if I don’t run, there is no-way I shall win.

So, I shall be the rat.
I shall chase my cheese
So that I feed my tummy later
And don’t have to beg or please.

The year where I shall graduate, 2009 shall be full of some more sweet sour memories. Leaving Ruia college will hurt, but finally having a degree and be called a graduate at the age of 19 should be unusual.

So, there you go, I am ready.

With me there is sufficient facility
Within me there is infinite capability
Before me there is endless possibility
Around me is boundless opportunity
Why should I fear?

Disappointment

I don’t usually deal with much document work. But today I had to collect my passport from the post-office. Postman uncle had come home twice and on both occasions left notes. No-one is home from 9-4, thus the non-availability. But, it was high time I went and collected my govt. authorized document that would enable me to fly overseas.

So, I left home at 9 and then began my hunt of the post-office. Weird how we college-goers ignore places of general importance. Anyway, I asked shopkeepers and random people on the road and everyone seemed pretty amused at the fact that a localite was lost :P Nevertheless, found it in one corner of the CIDCO office and walked in.

I spoke to the post-master, he called the man responsible for my area and then after some random formalities there it was the document for which I had waited for about a year, my belonging, my very own, passport! But something stood in middle of me and it,
Chai-paani.

My parents had warned me about this. And they had actually said that if there are any signals from the man; give up some-money; “because we don’t wanna lose out on important letters.”
“But why bribe? We are doing it all legally and have made all the payments!”
“They shouldn’t ask you because you are a student, but, you never know”
“What if I refuse to pay? He will still have to give my passport.”
“Don’t be stupid. Do as I say”
“But I don’t want to give money; that is his duty!”
“I know and I agree with what you are trying to say beta, but its our documents or other notifications that are on stake. Apart, it is hardly some money.”
“But is it about the amount?”
“Do you always have to argue?”
*grumpy face*
“See girl, this has happened to us before. Because we refused to give them diwali [reward money on a hindu festival] at our old house, they didn’t deliver something and because of that, some delay led to us paying a very heavy amount as fine. So, listen to me, give him this” said daddy slipping a note in my hands.

I stayed mum then. All those arguments came rushing back to me now. And as I stood across that table, I was reminded of my dad’s words. Postman's guilty eyes were penetrating me and my conscious just didn’t want to encourage something I have spoken so strongly against at various occasions.

There was a huge line behind me, of people wanting to talk to the post-master. Commotion was building up; everyone was looking at me and the postman. All I could think about was the gateway peace rally and how we had talked about being good citizens. It was cold and my palms were sweating.

I lost. I chose to be a good daughter.
Papa, are you happy now?

Poona Puna Poone Poonay Poohne PUNE!

The city

where 75% population is under 30,
and accomodation is available plenty;
non-marathi speakers fall in trouble,
love stories shatter like a bubble;
Where education is ‘popular’,
Mango mastani simply spectacular!
And common-wealth games is called ‘Yuva krida mahotsav’....

Traffic rules do not exist,
People are absolutely not sexist;
Strange messages put up on puneri patya,
The yummiest varan-bhat, taak, bhakar-wadi and surdichya wadya;
Public transport is most low-geared,
If you don’t wear a scarf, you are considered weird;
Walk-in Plaza, KP, Camp, SB road, Law and FC,
People come to visit the university....

A little clean,
a little crowded,
a little pleasant,
a little comfortable,
sometimes very un-managable;
abundance and lack of sense
but a worthy experience.

Welcome to the city where dreams dwell

Welcome to Pune!
:-)


Yes, I am back. And apart from the food and hectic schedule, I loved this visit.
For people who did not understand; ask specific doubts :-D I will LOVE to explain :-P

Smile please

A very insignificant, yet strangely cute incident happened with me yesterday in the train.

I was coming back home pretty early at noon and the trains at that time were empty. At Chembur, every-one else in my coach apart from me chose to depart and for one moment, I got uncertain whether or not to change my compartment. Well, this girl boarded the train the very next station, so I had company :-)

Now,
Yesterday was first day of navratra and for people who don't know, all the days of navratra are colour coded :-P As in, there is this pre-decieded colour of clothing, Amba-ma is made to wear a saree of that colour and all females are expected to wear that colour. I found it initially very amusing, but mum absolutely insisted that I wear "RED" and no other colour yesterday.

And [not so surprizingly], the girl who boarded my coach was wearing blood red too.

Vashi bridge came next and I, who needs to be as close to the sea as possible, chose to stand at the doors. And well, I had my music with me and the sea near me, bliss. Just then, I noticed that the girl was staring at me out of intrest. I gave her a stern look and she,
returned me the most wide-genuine smile ever!
Her entire face brightened, eyes twinkled; It was one, complete-friendly smile!

I couldn't help but smile back!
Just to strike a conversation, I went towards her and said,
"Do I know you through anything?"
She: [bemused] You do?
Me: I don't know. You look familiar.
She: [Takes a while, thinks, makes some faces, does some countings and finally with a confused look] Maybe through the train-travel..
Me: Huh? Oh...OK. Thats my station, Bye.
She: [another killer smile] Bye.

Thoughts started racing,
I guess I know her from classes, she was reading some bio book! Maybe through junior college! Market, boutique, friend's friend, or maybe she smiled because we wore Amba-ma's colour. How did it matter, maybe it was train!

And after I got off from the train, realization struck me!

Why has smiling become a formality?
Why can we literally count the number of times we smile each day?
And if some-one is being sweet enough to smile,
Why do we get appalled for a moment?

What is humanity heading towards?

Being curious

If white symbolizes peace,
Why does it make me feel hollow inside?

If looks don’t matter,
Why do cosmetics sell?

If blondies are supposed to be dumb,
Why do we [dark skinned Indians] colour our hair blonde?

If they are not hygienic,
Why are beauty parlors so popular?

If friends are the support system,
Why do they betray?

If they don’t want to get hurt,
Why do people put-up sensitive content on public forum?

If we value our privacy,
Why is orkut more popular than Facebook?

If fuck [as a word] is part of ‘normal’ vocabulary,
Why do people mask it with asterisk?

If they want to keep the content clean,
Why use such words at-all?

If every-one has it,
Why is sex so hyped?

If green is the colour of envy,
Why do I wear it so often?

If I know he doesn’t care,
Why do I wait for his call?

If I don’t like her,
Why do I need to pretend?

If I can,
Why don’t I?

If it is now or never,
Why is not sinking in?

Ah! Such is life…

P.S. Nothing said here is meant for any person or organization. Suit yourself, I shall continue to do the same.

P.P.S. I don't need replies, I have them. I need views on the write up :-)