Thursday, December 18, 2008

Disappointment

I don’t usually deal with much document work. But today I had to collect my passport from the post-office. Postman uncle had come home twice and on both occasions left notes. No-one is home from 9-4, thus the non-availability. But, it was high time I went and collected my govt. authorized document that would enable me to fly overseas.

So, I left home at 9 and then began my hunt of the post-office. Weird how we college-goers ignore places of general importance. Anyway, I asked shopkeepers and random people on the road and everyone seemed pretty amused at the fact that a localite was lost :P Nevertheless, found it in one corner of the CIDCO office and walked in.

I spoke to the post-master, he called the man responsible for my area and then after some random formalities there it was the document for which I had waited for about a year, my belonging, my very own, passport! But something stood in middle of me and it,
Chai-paani.

My parents had warned me about this. And they had actually said that if there are any signals from the man; give up some-money; “because we don’t wanna lose out on important letters.”
“But why bribe? We are doing it all legally and have made all the payments!”
“They shouldn’t ask you because you are a student, but, you never know”
“What if I refuse to pay? He will still have to give my passport.”
“Don’t be stupid. Do as I say”
“But I don’t want to give money; that is his duty!”
“I know and I agree with what you are trying to say beta, but its our documents or other notifications that are on stake. Apart, it is hardly some money.”
“But is it about the amount?”
“Do you always have to argue?”
*grumpy face*
“See girl, this has happened to us before. Because we refused to give them diwali [reward money on a hindu festival] at our old house, they didn’t deliver something and because of that, some delay led to us paying a very heavy amount as fine. So, listen to me, give him this” said daddy slipping a note in my hands.

I stayed mum then. All those arguments came rushing back to me now. And as I stood across that table, I was reminded of my dad’s words. Postman's guilty eyes were penetrating me and my conscious just didn’t want to encourage something I have spoken so strongly against at various occasions.

There was a huge line behind me, of people wanting to talk to the post-master. Commotion was building up; everyone was looking at me and the postman. All I could think about was the gateway peace rally and how we had talked about being good citizens. It was cold and my palms were sweating.

I lost. I chose to be a good daughter.
Papa, are you happy now?

26 comments:

divinediu said...

:(

Corruption is so horrible. Really. You feel low when you are involved, innit? Its like you are encouraging it, even if you don't want to. :(
But like your dad said, there is no other option if you want the stuff. They have the stupid power, the cheap thrill and the money that noone wants to part with, but still do.

Where is the justice? I don't know.

Are we encouraging it? If we don't pay up, we don't get out things done.

It's becoming so much of the 'done thing' to do.It may even become legal one day. It's that scary.

divinediu said...

Oh shit. Forgot.

First. Yaay!! :D

Trinaa said...

omg!!!!!!! shit is all i can say...so sorry jaanu.. :(

Anurag said...

Well there is unfortuanately, a difference between reality and doing good deeds.

Your dad only wanted you to not get into any unnecessary trouble.It's actually quite chaotic in that post-office and the rush for passport is huge!!

And everybody pays!! And do you think everybody is happy doing that but they don't have any choice.It's all hunky dory to say that one should fight the system ,ofcourse one should,but then it has to start from the bottom...it could not have started if u had not payed the guy.

So Chill!!

CяystąL said...

Corruption blooms..all through the way..sadly though!

Sucks..i tell you.
But what can we do,Shatab?

Sach! said...

:-| Sad and bad that you paid him! I won't..
'nd you know I won't!
Anyways..ab ek din go back to him 'nd say, "Shame on you uncle for you are under my KARZzzz" :) Do that..you never know it *might* work!!!

Swayam said...

happens all the time... that is what our country thrives on... and since we'd started all of it in the first place pretty obvious we'll have to deal with it.. and the problem its all gone beyond us... Thankfully it did not happen when I got my passport made... or did it.. pata nai dad was handling it...
but yaa congos...
ps: leaving today .. bye...

Arv said...

that sucks... seriously... sucks...

Swayam said...

blog roll quirks and eccentricities.. since its my first... and from there on you can move to my other blogs...:)

ki said...

Ha. Happens a lot. Even in my college. My I card's been lost since September, I still don't have a new one. And to actually get the office chap to give me the form, I had to put aside angry, agressive me and sweet talk him. Almost flirt. It was THAT bad.
Yuck *shudders*

Express said...

@ Diu
I know :-(
Do the authorities really have the power? And justice, ha! thats just a nice word no?
And I felt so helpless I can’t tell you!

And the last line you said is oh so relevant!
>:D<

Acha temme this, why is being first all that big a deal?


@ Trinaa
:-( I know.

Doing this felt really bad….
:-(

Express said...

@ Anurag
Yea, what you say, well most of it is true.

But is there nothing I can do?
At my level, just for my happiness. When that uncle asked me, it took me time to come on terms with it you know. And then I actually argued my way out you know. And all of it in marathi, so aisa bhi nahi hai ki who log non-residents ko target karte hai.

I would’ve argued further if there were less people around. And I was definitely feeling ashamed. See, system n thing is too much.. but can I not even make a start?

Chilling and all is okay re.. I just feel so helpless….
:-(


@ Crystal
:-( :-( :-(
I never actually realized that there is nothing that can be done.

God alone knows why these people don’t have the thing called conscious! And that too right after the terror attacks!
:-( :-( :-(

Express said...

@ Sachi
And now I am positive feeling shame for the thing Ive done.
Sachi, Im sorry I didn’t show strength, I had planned not to give him the money, I didn’t want to carry money in the first place, but mom made sure that didn’t happen. If I was not a dependant no, trust me, I would’ve not lissened.

Lol at karrzzz…. But I know I have disappointed my sister. More so, I have lost myself..
I have no words of apology
I just need a hug
:-(


@ Swayam
I was told last night k dad had 2 pay all the way. That’s why it took us so long! And the police verification guy toh had a fixed amount to be paid to!

I would be surprised if ur din pay atall. Its that bad.

And lol! Thanks :-) I know it is a big deal…and I was all happy happy..but……

And ladki! You are blog-rolled!
:-) :-) :-)

Express said...

@ Arv
Hmm
:-( :-( :-(


@ Ki
Sshhhaaaa, collg is so much more organized. Yes you have to behave yourself and you need the police se letter. But duplicate Icard is taken care of. Rather, ‘that’ has its own staff :P :P :P

And the feeling you get when u pay bribe from under the table is bad. I toh was so angry and helpless……. Anyway, its done.
Now is the time to start afresh.

But my talks and thoughts on the topic have definitely seen some change.

Alok said...

You didn't do anything when you could.

Why mope about it now?

Express said...

@ Alok
sad and yet how true.

but its bad to have lost no..

divinediu said...

It just is.

That sounds like 'justice'.

Creepy.

:P

>:D<

divinediu said...

Yaay!!

I was the only one to have got a hug.

I love you.

>>>:D<<<

That's a bear hug, hon.


PS: I'm REALLLLLLLY childish.

Sach! said...

Oh baby! >:D<
Nothing like that! It's okay if you did that. I might do it some day too :-) circumstances..I understand! But make sure of that karzz stuff..just let that uncle know that people like him misuse the goodness of people and thus attacks take place 'nd everyone suffers...not 'coz of any other thing...

Express said...

@ Diu
Haha! I love u too!!!!
:-)

And talk abt being childish, ha! u have competition baby :D

Bear is hug is oh so beary cuttee!!!! >>>>>>:D<<<<<<

Yayy!! I learnt something nuu!!!!

:) :) :)


@ Sachi
hmm, point noted!
:) :) :)

Im happy!
>:D<

divinediu said...

Yeah.

Kiddy people can come up with great stuff sometimes.

;)

Love.

thearmyguyspeaks said...

That sucks no doubt..but the good thing is that you feeling about this... ur not numb just to pay... u feel.. and that is the hope that india has..sumday things will change... dont worry .. Cheer up.

Express said...

@ Diu
huh?
all the time!!!!

if not gr8, atleast v come up with cute stuff! :D

;)


@ Samby
:) :) :)
cheering :)
atleast attempting to...

But its saddening u knw...the state..
and hw things r taken so much 4 granted..

The Seeker said...

Hey first timer here, blog hopping and got here!!!!

Its really disgustingly disturbing,, This trend of bribing, paying up some money, cos they ask,, I remember when I was home when my brother had to collect the passport.. I really wonder... Why? and Why the hell?

HAve you seen them the kind of half-awful-innocently-blushing face? That really sicks me in my stomach, when I see that!! Aren't they get paid, all allowances, all bonuses, still Why,

You and me can afford, so we pay fifty bucks and get with that, and we make this an habit,,, May be to me fifty and hundred wouldn make any difference, cos I got my thing, I got my work done,, but what people who cannot afford that fifty and hundred,, which can be an old person's medical-expense at their home, an tuition fee for the kid, an application form, any chandha amount or it would make a good saving certificate,,,
Its sickening buddy!!!

And very unfortunate that we all encourage this shit and help these worms feed on us...

And it was indeed a very thoughtful post...

Cheers,
Barath N

Samby said...

it is..but hope shall get us going...:)

Express said...

@ The seeker
sorry for the late replies, and welcome to my page :-)

see, I agree. But basically what I wanted to ask y'all was, is being helpless gonna help? I dunno, I still feel sad, and there weren't so many people in there, I could've created a racuss. I dunno, I feel like apologizing to every1 I gave lectures against encouraging corruption..

so its a basic hurting principle issue.

and the way u described the face! oh good lord! i think i ve indigestion!

:-(

Thanks for the visit
and cheers 2 u too.


@ Samby
:-)
happy christmas bud!!!!!! :-) :-) :-)