Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Critical Connection

I travel a lot. No, I don't go to 'explore new places' or 'meet new people', I just travel between two cities 790 kms away from each other. You see, one of them is where my heart belongs (Mumbai) and well, the other is where I am trapped since last 2 years (Hyderabad). 17 hours far away by train. And I would just reiterate that, My love for railways has nothing to do with my name!

I run home-wards, almost every chance I get. It is not a VERY long journey, so if I plan it well, I can manage to meet the most important people to me, every couple months. But that is not what this post is about.

Because of the frequency of my travel and my insistence to experiment with different kinds of people, I choose to usually travel by the 2nd class sleeper coaches. And invariable of the route, or the time, or the season, or my seat number, I end up sitting at the compartment that has one of these,
yes, The emergency window!!

Sometimes I feel as if these things follow me whenever I travel. I have had them in ac coaches, in chair-cars, at seat number 1, at air planes.. sometimes even at private buses. Its almost like god is asking me to take a safe exit from my current plans in life and take up safer assignments.

Another thing that I have noticed is that, these windows manage to not catch up with me when I am traveling with my mother. Does this mean that she is my safety cover?

Have I totally gone crazy?

Monday, September 5, 2011

All for the little glow :P

This is the most hilarious conversation I've ever had. Adult content: Unsuitable for children.

So, I was spending the night at a good friend's place and both of us were neither sleepy nor at the loss of conversation-starters. Hence, began random chatter that took the most ridiculous turns and finally lead to explosive laughter.

Me: The best way of Contraception? Condoms right?
She: Yea, but there are so many kinds! How does one know which type is best?
Me: Well, to keep the fun alive, I guess all people can do is 'experiment'..
She : Yea! So, there is dotted, and flavored, and lubricated, and?
Me: I dunno the regular things, but I do know that Kamasutra was trying to pull off something called 'glowing condoms' :P

*roar of laughter*

She: Huh? Really now!
Me: Yea, it never got through the quality checks I think. But some friend's friend was an auditor and could lay his hands on some complimentary ones. I don't know how effective they are, but sound quite entertaining..
She: Haha!
Me: Yea man! They had 2 colours as far as I remember. Green and Red. It reminds me of the signal lights :P
She: Only 2 colours? They should have experimented more re!
Me: Aree, green for husband and red for secret lover. So that she would know whose name to scream :D The Promotional ad makers should totally take our idea! :D
She: LOL! But if the husband was to return while the extra-marital action was on, the curtains is the most obvious place to hide right? But he would get caught because of the glowing thing man! Then whats the fun?
Me: Yea! Ad cancel. We have to come up with more convincing ideas that appeal to more people...

*Brain-storming begins*

She: We need more variety!
Me: Yea! Shocking pink for girly gurls..
She: Grey with a little shine for smart professional chics!
Me: Yeahh.. black would be hot too! But then whats the point of all the illumination... :-/
She: Haha! Oh, we need something for the elderly. Ah! White glow for senior citizens!
Me: Abbe, woh cfl k tarah jalega!

*roar of laughter*

She: The advertisement for this thing would be damn appealing. Electricity chali jaati hai and then the wife cooks for her dear husband in the brightness of his thing :P
Me: Dude, so, if they use a glass top dining table....
She: Instead of candle light dinner... they would have d*ck-light dinner!!!

*roar of laughter*

Me: One solid colour will get boring after a while nah.. If we could have varied patterns and designs the trend is more likely to stay sustained.
She: Oh! There should be alternate lighting, like the diwali LED lights!
Me: Cool stuff!! But a fluorescent dye won't be able to do that! We will need a power source. Battery would be cumbersome re..
She: Yea.. and electricity laya bhi toh power cord kaha se niklega?
Me: Butt se niklega

*roar of laughter*

Me: Uska bhi ad hona chahiye!!
She: Yea.. so after a long hard day when a couple goes to sleep.. husband pyar se bolega, "Darling, light off kar do.. and mera d*ck on kar do!!"

*roar of laughter*

Me: Dude! That will be a revolution! We should really contact some companies and sell them our multi-million dollar ideas!
She: Of course! But then we are supposed to be 'GOOD' girls who don't really know about all these things :D Plus, it is too much effort!
Me: Yea.. But we had the idea first! So, we should have some proof..

*Brain-storming continues*

*Laziness and sleep take over*

*Followed by a very bizarre dream and drowsy morning where we couldn't really look each other in the eye*


we would all agree, Glow toh chahiye boss! :D :D