Friday, May 29, 2009

Home Alone III

I thought I would not need to write further about this. I planned to put up some poem or recipe or tag or any random jazz. BUT I NEED to write about this! [loonnggg post]

The penultimate day into the exciting term turned out to be WOA! Its not like I’ve not had days out with friends, but today involved no sleep, total excitement, a fabulous phone call, unexpected money, an old friend coming back.. whom I missed so much, all the negativity eliminated and most importantly, CRAP FOOD!

I have given up junk food, errmm.. had actually *sheepish grin*
Ok, relaxed the resolution for one day, today :D

Day started last night at 12 when I was errmm.. trying very hard to study and not succeeding. I was online and wanted to talk badly to someone, anyone. I have a few very good friends who’ve been there with me throughout. I don’t know how much of a good friend I have been to them, but well, I’ve tried :-) Last night however I did not want to call up any of them, I wanted to stay isolated; something VERY rare for whom I am.

And then tears leaked out of my eyes.

I am not someone who cries, I so am not! I didn’t cry when my cousin sister left.. Not because I am this tough girl or something, it is coz I can’t cry. But last night, I felt as if the burden of over 2 months, the losses, betrayal, defeat, crash of a dream, losing a person.. it all came back, I succumbed and then, came out victorious. Washing away all sin, all bitterness, all hopelessness, all of it. Someone helped me do that, didn’t flinch when I wailed like a little child who was deprived from his favorite toy.

I know you are reading, but, you don’t know how much it means to me.
How important the last sleepless night was for me. It was not just about what you thought it was about, but many other things interlaced. But well, I am a complex creature :D I am out of the guy I was so crazily in love with, to whom it didn't matter. Argh, Loves MAKES you lame!

Anyway, so 5:30 am, final phone call cut, I lay sleepless on my bed and so? I start making dessert for my parents, who come 2mrw nite! Then an hour of good soulful music and 7 a.m. maid’s arrival :-|

Later in the morning, sorting of things with the friend I was talking about, more sigh of relief. Then later in the day, bhag-daud of getting ready, I was going to my favorite place in the world, College! To meet Aditi! To get the last salary for quite some time, sigh.. yes, I quit writing for campusjunkie.
Even heart-to-heart talks with you made my day gal, you [21] made me see many things that we 19 yr olds ignore :P

Anyway, both of us, non-foodies, ended up having all possible kinds of foods and drinks during the day. Dosas, Parathas, Fruit beer with lemonade in round 1 and then despite being full upto the brim, A Belgian waffle, some slush and coke in round 2 :D If you thought that was it for 2day's food, hang on.

Further, my eating spree menu included, Pani-puri, a pineapple pastry, Nimbooz, gum-loads of chewing gum, 2 ice-creams-one cornetto n the other butterscotch! The icing on the cake was the pizza in the night courtesy Domino’s.. yea, they suck, but what the hell, an entire pizza all by myself?! And I could finish it mister, I could. The chicken, the corn and extra cheese, oh la la.
OK, I feel fat.
But whatever.

As it ticks 12 in the clock, I'm here doing something I love to, blogging :-)

What is important is that I realized that hanging out with friends is as important as being there for them. Sometimes it is not possible, sometimes you have to depend on that phone because of the physical distances. But when it is possible, make it happen :-)

Oh, why is this called ‘home alone’?
As I could be the way I was, because I was home alone :-) No continuous influx of phone calls, no time limit, no money expenditure limit, no emotional expenditure limit :-)

Tonight is the last night I shall be alone at home,
And so, I shall make the most of it ;-)

Gyan Share: The phone kills your brain cells! It is not about the convenience, it is the amount of energy you expend into it, to only feel sluggish later. – Aditi Gupta.


deluded said...

i hope you watered the plants.

Misanthropist said...

Blue days at times arrive without any prior intimidation. And as you perfectly describe it, we succumb and the come out victorious. a truly beautiful post.
Losing and finding people again doesn't happen everyday and to everyone.You are lucky girl.Loved your post.

(Btw I have added you on FB)

Jinxed Pixie said...

haha..nice g.s., huh??

had a pretty eventful day i can see..
better than my eat-sleep-go online-eat-sleep-attempt to complete holiday homework-eat schedule that i am following...

Aditi Gupta said...

lecture ka koi aasar tou nahi hue dikh raha

Arv said...

you are having fun :P

take care da... cheers...

Express said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Express said...

@ deluded
Jinga lala hu, hu HU!

P.S. Tribal song from the jungle lands. I belong there :D

@ Misanthropist
Yea, realized.. forgot to accept tabhi :-)

and yes, I have lost friends in the past and thats why I owe him [no. 1] so much coz he really stood by me and egged me on to make up with him [no. 2] :D

thanks baby, i thought this post wud bore ppl 2 death :D
I wud top it up with another one anyway.. :-)

Express said...

@ Pixie
ah, my days were always eventful.
duh! sleeping is AN EVENT :D

and @least u have vacations.. sigh..

@ Aditi
Hua hai! maine kaha nah hua hai!
aaj subah 6 baje uthke I started studying :D
despite not sleeping the prev nite.. and phone pe bhi, cutting down. Waise bhi I have only a very few [disoriented] brain cells, won't kill them, will I?

Express said...

@ Arv
You bet :D

and u too!
But man, I seriously LOVED ur most recent poem.. :)

Anonymous said...

You, my baby, are awesome. Rona aata hai kabhi kabhi. Aane do. Phir happy ho jao. :)

Express said...

@ Ki


Cяystal said...'re like awesomest! even if the aasus leak out..try some drainage techniques.(talking to a bestest buddy)

And remember..ILU! be happy! \:D/

Anonymous said...

My My... You know why m saluting you right ?


Remember sumone you told me about who never misses his/her morning walk..

Anonymous said...

And your header is really amazing !

Whats with this other side blog.. Invite me there.. if you can that is.

Express said...

@ Crystal
oh I do have a lot of options to talk to :D
but 3 people I LOVE to talk to, and 2 of them on the blogroll :)

and if I've not said that enough number of times,
I love u too!! so much that I could adopt you :D

Express said...

@ Samby
haha, yea, eating spree.. Aree last free day, jo mila daal liya.. was eating good food after long,
shh, don't tell anyone that i cook not-so-well :D

yet, no regrets!

and yes, that uncle, hmm.. inspiring story no? :)

i love the header too, thats why despite being small, is put up :)

and and the other blog, well.. its empty.. but i just might!

Anindita said...


That was a whole lotta food! :D

Anurag said...

Lovely header ...must say .....

Express said...

@ Anindita
haha! yeah, it was!

and a whole lotta money too

@ Anurag
You can read the post sometimes, hmm...

Anonymous said...

Get inspired by that "inspiring" story then Ma'am.

Express said...

@ Samby

yeah, high time actually.

food regime set in, jogging socks on, I'll see u in a while!