And I am answering the call.
I never thought I would feel weird doing all this. 4 rounds of shopping done to ensure nothing is left back, bags packed, lockers empty, shelves clean, check lists made, planned and re-planned everything, room orderly, no sign of life, heart - filled with vacuum.
Well, amusingly, most my bags are filled with a splash of just one color, blue! I don't know why, but somehow it just occurred to me that half the things I own are blue in color! When people ask me of my favorite color, I say brown or maroon, or black, or even better white :-P Also another nice answer is "depends". he he. But I don't know why I involuntarily choose blue! Its a nice color, no doubt, but, well...
Right now I am blue.
Cried eyes out on brother's call about being a big girl and taking care of myself in pune [He lives in US.] And I am not the ones who cry easy. The empty room makes me feel so low, writing this post is another horrible experience, last calls from best friends, last msgs to mates, all final formalities done. But where should I parcel this empty feeling? Like I am losing something very dear to me. Like I am running away from my responsibilities, Like I am being selfish and chasing my dreams on cost of my duties. Duties of being the sole kid of my parents in the continent, of being a true friend, of being the listener to people who have been just a call away whenever I needed them, of being a shoulder to cry on when mum misses her favorite kid.
Why am I so ambitious? Why can't I just stay put at home like all my friends and relish holidays? Why can't I just help myself make a future than choosing to go 2 another city to find people who can help me out? Why am I doing this to myself and my dear ones? Why is it so important to be the best in the run?
Well, priorities are set, the choices are made, and I made them. My parents supported me no end in all this and I just can't thank them enough for believing in me and my dreams. My brother is my support system and somewhere I want to live upto his expectations out of me, thus the chase, thus the burning desire to be the best! I don't know how correct this move is, how crucial it will be in shaping my future, how much I will be able 2 achieve out of it, how much worth it is of all the sacrifice..
All I know is, its now or never.
And I don't want to be the person regretting all her life about the choices she made.
Its not easy, well nothing is.
And I am going to give it my best shot.
So, adios my dear blogger-mates. I apologize from all my heart for not being around and contributing in your posts, for not being able to regularly provide matter from my neurons to my dear disoriented neurons. Hope you all gain harmony and lady luck showers her blessings on you in my absence. I shall make up for it when I am back :-)
P.S. Special mention, alisha. Your tag is pending, I am indebted :-P
Shall do it 1st thing when I get back :-)
Take care and take RPAS to the epitome of glory.