Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat

Written in mid-sept.
Uoloaded 6th Oct @ Campusjunkie


Yes, you did it again. And Oh No, I did it again too! I will tell you what my mistake was. Your “3 mistakes of my life”

Let’s start from the starting. I have read all your books, like many of us have. Not because you are a phenomenal writer or anything, but because your books don’t leave me with any after-effects. I don’t have to bother my brain cells at all, because there is nothing to think about. Precisely, the reason why your books are popular is “the universal phenomenon of limited usage of the head.”

But no, then I realize that you are so smart that all I can do is sit back and appreciate. You sell big-time! But not because your “writing skills” are polished, because they clearly are not. This is because your “marketing skills” are refined.

They say you are “different”; now that is an absolutely unheard line. Ha ha! I want to ask what is different about you.
- The campus feel? We have been reading Nancy Drew since we were kids. And Judy blume is so much better a read.
- The ‘only’ Indian writer to have sold abroad? Kavya Vishwanathan, Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth are American.
- You have done a brave attempt of covering riots? The read through those pages left me angry (on you) and later on realization, I had tears in my eyes, of laughing.
- Your books are cheap? Oh that they are, both monetarily and creatively. But still, I would prefer to hover on blogger-world and read the absolutely brilliant attempts to story-writing. And these folks could do with a little bit of encouragement. And that is not even for 95 bucks, it is for free.
- People “relate” to your books? Obviously, you write in the language we speak. But where is the depth sir?
- The characters are “realistic”? err...
- You are a best-seller? So I should read you?

What I fail to understand is, as a writer, how can you write the same thing over and over again? How can Rupa & co, as a publishing house, publish it in 3 different colored covers? How can you awaken before the release of your books and perform a publicity stunt by going to various colleges around the country and arrange ‘book signing sessions’? For you women are just “cute, pretty, well-dressed, long-nailed, chatter-boxes with white skinny hands for your heroes to grab”? You are an IIT/IIM-A graduate, very good sir, very pleased to meet you. Every-one wants to be you. But then why are you wasting your popularity and talents that could be used in the formulating methods of distance learning for Indian youth by over-rating an already over-hyped concept of sex? What a brilliant example to set……

But then I forget that you are here for the business. Thus, Hearty congratulations, your business has bloomed. Your haphazard hard-work has finally bore fruits Yes, India is shining and you are the rising star.

And yes, some suggestions that you always keep asking us “youth” for. Why don’t you share your skills by becoming a visiting faculty of any business school? If that is too difficult to manage, become a script writer for our fultu-filmy Bollywood, atleast you will do good justice to your work.

Never-the-less, Hail the drama king. *bows*

Signing off,
Shatabdi