Illumination

Parting clouds of darkness away,
you soak me in your silver shine
and radiate an eternal beauty
that comforts me, lightens the air,
brightens my very soul..

You glare at me with those unruly eyes,
and yet, that's a sense of calm
like I've never felt before..

We outshine all others tonight,
and this feels right.
You're the orb of my darkest night,
You're My Moon.

P.S. Photo credits: Arjun Menon. Check out his facebook page here

The Gym and its turbanators!

After writing the previous post, every time I entered the Gym, I noticed atleast one thing that I totally HAD to share with you guys! And also because the last post was so well received, here comes another gym story! :P


For a little background..
My gym has 4 trainers. Lets call them, M, S, R and V.

M is sweeeet! He is around all day and also is my trainer and hence, I have this extra special respect for him :)

S is the floor-manager. Everyone listens to him. He pushes people way too much and is slightly biased towards people who can pick up weights above 60 lbs at once :-/ Sometimes, he just unwraps a candy-bar, gulps the whole thing in 2 bites and then tells anyone who would listen, "Want it? Deserve it first!!!" :-/

R is the jallaaaad! He is devil in a track-suit! He came to overlook my exercises on my 2nd day at Gym and practically made me regret my decision to join in the first place!

V is a pig. He is a sleazy pig-man! I despise the way he looks at people and his smirk makes me want to pick up the heaviest dumb-bell and bang it right on his head! He is around only in the evenings and yes, I don't even walk the roads of my gym at that time.


Getting back to the entire point of the turbanator post.

I am a morning person. Evenings are for indulgence and not for workouts. But then, there was this one day when I went to Gym at 6pm; And, I saw him.
He was this absolutely gorgeous man with the perfect body, lifting weights by himself. His aura drained the presence of every other soul in the room, it felt like summer breeze. The features, the glow, the body language; everything about him just screamed “PERFECT”! Yes, he wore a black turban, but who cared about his religion when he had that super-awesome body! After 1 whole minute of mindlessly staring at him, I got back to reality and sprinted away with a big blush on my face :P

I couldn’t help but just notice that one man throughout my session. I don’t think I have ever had a more dumbfounded episode in my entire life. When he left, I felt like someone had just ripped off my heart and sent it along with him. But then V prove that he is the biggest pig on the face of the earth and I decided never to go back there in the evening.


Next day, when I walked in at my usual 10am slot, the atmosphere was different. The glee was in the very air and everyone seemed to be eagerly waiting for something to happen. I asked M for updates.
Me: Is something wrong?
M: No. Yesterday we had a new member join us. That's all.
Me: So? something happened yesterday?
M: (Big grin) He is a sardarji.

My heart skipped a beat! It was almost like God had planned this for us! Today I shall be reunited with the man of my dreams. The cycling equipment showed a much higher heart-rate than it normally would and I just couldn't help it. As I paddled away, all I could think about were conversation starters: His arms; No, the mark on his forehead; No, how does one become Sikh; No, dammmit!

And then he walked in the room.

My world started spinning and I was short for breath. This guy wasn't even close to that guy! Firstly, He was short. Even shorter than me.. and that is saying something! Then, he was wearing 10s of rings and 4-5 gold-chains. He probably weighed 100 kilos and sported a blue-white spotted turban. I stared at him open-mouthedly for 1 whole minute (just like I had looked at the other man), but this time, it was out of amusement. If that guy was sex on a stick; this guy was a small barrel, barrel with a colorful turban.

M heartily welcomed him with a hug. Turns out, R was sardarji's trainer and made his life miserable. This was what everyone derived enjoyment out of :-/

I finished my aerobics and moved towards the treadmill as the man changed into his gym-outfit in the men's room. I was obviously disappointed but chose to ignore the event and concentrate on my purpose. "Today I would run the fastest I ever have", I told myself before taking off. After a quick warm-up, R headed Sardarji towards the center for stretching exercises. Then, I couldn't believe what my ears heard. The man was practically screaming out sex-noises! I had to hit the *stop* button to prevent myself from falling off the tracks and everyone was heartily laughing their lungs out.

I couldn't stop myself from peeking in their direction and the scene was not very different from a sex position. They were on the floor with R on top and Sardarji screaming out, "Oh God, stop!!!" I was too shocked to react. I scanned the room to search for someone to take inspiration from, someone who was ignoring the incident; but even the trainers found it too amusing to overlook! After 2 whole minutes of entertainment, S asked everyone to get back to work with his candy-bar stunt. I restarted the treadmill and began walking. BB walked passed by me and whispered in my ear, "This is only the beginning."

After stretching, R assigned the treadmill right beside me to Sardarji [SD]. I could practically feel everyone's eyes on our corner. It made me super uncomfortable.
SD: R sir, My stamina has considerably increased!
R: In one day?
SD: Its not about number of days, its about the amount of effort I put in yesterday.
R: Anyway, walk while you talk!
SD: Also, my diet-chart is very strict.
R: You have a problem with that?
SD: Yes. I am not allowed to eat anything!!
R: What nonsense. You aren't allowed to eat just a few things.
SD: Don't tell me what I shouldn't eat. Tell me what I should eat!
R: You should eat everything apart from the things mentioned on your list. Avoid junk, rice and non-veg particularly.
SD: Give me examples.
R: You can eat leafy vegetables!
SD: Something nice..?
R: No, nothing 'nice'. No sweets, no fried and no spicy food.
SD: Then what should I eat everyday?
R: You should eat "lauki"! (bottle-gourd). It is healthy, it is cooling and good for weight-loss.
SD: Sir, how does one eat spice-less lauki everyday?
R: Well, you should have thought about this before gaining 40 kilos of extra weight!! Now shut-up and run!

At that point, It had just gotten too much for me to take! I hit the *stop* button.

R: (to me) You have 10 more minutes to go!
Me: I would rather run those in the courtyard.
R: Why?
Me: Nothing, fresh air.


So yea, my gym is way too action-packed!! It is the highlight of my day and now with Sardarji coming at my time, it is one of the things I actually look forward to :P


P.S. Turns out, BB is the new star of the Gym. He lost some 12 kilos in 2 months. He attributes his success to his "protein shake" and "Co-operation of the trainers".. BUT, you and I might just know the *real* reason behind it ;)

Spontaneous Funtaneous!

Before I go ahead with the post, I would solemnly agree that I don't swim in money like Scrooge McDuck does. I am not a poor person's daughter/sister, but being a student, I'm perpetually WBPL.. yes, Way Below Poverty Line.

But that does not restrict me from making plans with my friends. Plans for 2-3 day trips or even a random 1 day visit to a nearby landmark. The thing is, in my small way, I try to make the best of places and time available to me. If my parents permit, the budget is higher.. if they don't, the luxuries need to be laid off.

Somehow, all I have learned is that, The less money I spend, the more fun I have!
Ironic, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong.. I love it when I have luxurious vacations with my parents. Traveling in big cars, beach-facing suites, no shopping budget what-so-ever, everything pre-planned and all you need to do is: 'stick to the plan'!
But there is just so much of 'paneer makkhanwala + naan' that you can eat!!

In the last 3 years, I have immensely experimented with cuisine and people. Hence, a little more enlightened Shatabdi confesses that she has had a VERY good time!
Done a lot of crazy things.. But I am enlisting My most favorite 11.

*!* Ordering food at a road-side dhaba by saying "Jo hai, le aao" (Bring whatever is available). Eating 1 plate of everything among 5 people and paying 200 bucks.

*!* Changing in a disgusting loo where normal people would never even set a foot. And then after wards describing the feces to gross people out :P

*!* Getting out of home without knowing the means of travel. Break-journeying in auto 5 times! and later laughing about the fucked up backside.

*!* Celebrating a birthday party at an unknown person's rooftop.

*!* Drinking 4 kinds of unidentified (non-alcoholic :P) liquids just for experimentation. Further, mixing those drinks to make a Grey liquid and drinking that. All of this in a ultra-posh mumbai cafe. Yes, the kinds where film stars walk in :P

*!* Commuting for 23 minutes with 8 people in a 3 seater auto-rickshaw.
*!* Sleeping with 7 people (non-sexually) on 2 mattresses in a friend's friend's friend's boyfriend's house :D

*!* Playing a beach ball game with absolute strangers and terribly losing it :P

*!* Living for 3 days in a room with moss green dripping walls, 1 bulb and Giant insects. AC didn't work and fan showered dust. Thank-god it was in a hill-station!

*!* Traveling in a public bus that was literally about to fall apart.

*!* Getting lost and then mugged and finally, spending the night at Lonavala Bus depot!

Been there, done that! :D


All I am trying to say is that, to get to know a place one has to wander the streets. I lived in a fantastic city like Hyderabad for 2 odd years and did everything that was there to do. Next, I intend to check out some foreign country where language and cash isn't the barrier. OR even a trip just-by-myself sounds fun, but I am not sure if I am mature enough to handle that.

Also, I do not click pictures. Other people do and I choose and collect them. That way, I can absorb a lot more than worrying about "the perfect angle." No offense to the photographer-types, but well, that is just not something for me.

The intention of this post is not to brag about the unusual things that I have done. It was in fact to try and break the stereotype that 'fancier trips are more fun trips'. Call me crazy, but if I take a mountain-top trek, I drink the naturally precipitated water! That is something that makes me feel real close to mother nature.

I would really love it if my partner chooses to go to a national park for our honeymoon. Because all said and done, the best way of doing it, is the way nomads did it :P :P
So, what was your most memorable trip?


P.S. I do not want to encourage kids to run away from home, just to try and have some fun. My parents always knew where I was and how to reach me. Keeping a toe beyond the line once in a while is okay, but we must always be responsible.

All for the little glow :P

This is the most hilarious conversation I've ever had. Adult content: Unsuitable for children.

So, I was spending the night at a good friend's place and both of us were neither sleepy nor at the loss of conversation-starters. Hence, began random chatter that took the most ridiculous turns and finally lead to explosive laughter.

Me: The best way of Contraception? Condoms right?
She: Yea, but there are so many kinds! How does one know which type is best?
Me: Well, to keep the fun alive, I guess all people can do is 'experiment'..
She : Yea! So, there is dotted, and flavored, and lubricated, and?
Me: I dunno the regular things, but I do know that Kamasutra was trying to pull off something called 'glowing condoms' :P

*roar of laughter*

She: Huh? Really now!
Me: Yea, it never got through the quality checks I think. But some friend's friend was an auditor and could lay his hands on some complimentary ones. I don't know how effective they are, but sound quite entertaining..
She: Haha!
Me: Yea man! They had 2 colours as far as I remember. Green and Red. It reminds me of the signal lights :P
She: Only 2 colours? They should have experimented more re!
Me: Aree, green for husband and red for secret lover. So that she would know whose name to scream :D The Promotional ad makers should totally take our idea! :D
She: LOL! But if the husband was to return while the extra-marital action was on, the curtains is the most obvious place to hide right? But he would get caught because of the glowing thing man! Then whats the fun?
Me: Yea! Ad cancel. We have to come up with more convincing ideas that appeal to more people...

*Brain-storming begins*

She: We need more variety!
Me: Yea! Shocking pink for girly gurls..
She: Grey with a little shine for smart professional chics!
Me: Yeahh.. black would be hot too! But then whats the point of all the illumination... :-/
She: Haha! Oh, we need something for the elderly. Ah! White glow for senior citizens!
Me: Abbe, woh cfl k tarah jalega!

*roar of laughter*

She: The advertisement for this thing would be damn appealing. Electricity chali jaati hai and then the wife cooks for her dear husband in the brightness of his thing :P
Me: Dude, so, if they use a glass top dining table....
She: Instead of candle light dinner... they would have d*ck-light dinner!!!

*roar of laughter*

Me: One solid colour will get boring after a while nah.. If we could have varied patterns and designs the trend is more likely to stay sustained.
She: Oh! There should be alternate lighting, like the diwali LED lights!
Me: Cool stuff!! But a fluorescent dye won't be able to do that! We will need a power source. Battery would be cumbersome re..
She: Yea.. and electricity laya bhi toh power cord kaha se niklega?
Me: Butt se niklega

*roar of laughter*

Me: Uska bhi ad hona chahiye!!
She: Yea.. so after a long hard day when a couple goes to sleep.. husband pyar se bolega, "Darling, light off kar do.. and mera d*ck on kar do!!"

*roar of laughter*

Me: Dude! That will be a revolution! We should really contact some companies and sell them our multi-million dollar ideas!
She: Of course! But then we are supposed to be 'GOOD' girls who don't really know about all these things :D Plus, it is too much effort!
Me: Yea.. But we had the idea first! So, we should have some proof..

*Brain-storming continues*

*Laziness and sleep take over*

*Followed by a very bizarre dream and drowsy morning where we couldn't really look each other in the eye*

:P

BUT,
we would all agree, Glow toh chahiye boss! :D :D

Dreams

When you hear the word 'Dream', what is the first thought that comes to your mind?
A recurring nightmare?
Something you always wanted to be?
Someplace you always wanted to visit?
Someone you always wanted to be with?
An absolute feeling of elation or that of downright misery..

What do these visions mean? Do they show you some things about yourself that are hidden so deep down, yet are so strong that they have to surface in some way or the other? Something you are, something you want to be, something you actually CAN be.

If not in sleep, we dream while we are awake. Then try to achieve them. Succeed, fail or fail miserably. Then dream some more. A dreamer will always be a dreamer; how easy or difficult his dreams might be.


Visualization is the key to achieving. Till you don’t see yourself winning, there is no-way you will work for it, and until you do work, nothing can be achieved. Not my words, some-one wise once said these to me.

I meanwhile have been a pessimist all along. Aim low, if you get more, it’s a happy surprise! No expectations = no disappointments; Always worked for me. Ignorant as I was, did not realize that achieving the goals is the whole point of aiming and till you are going to be satisfied with what you have, how are you ever going to get what you deserve?



So then the journey began, of fantasy, of vividness, of ecstasy, of beauty.. :-)

Here I am,
the way I like myself to be;
with the visions in my eyes
dreams for today in my heart..
Rustling past the slow world
Towards the me I want to be.

So, dream on honey
Of the bright days, blue skies,
Of pretty birds and soulful meadows
Of us, tomorrow and today

And if you simply cannot
However hard you try,
Unable to see yourself there, amongst the not real?
I’ll do the dreaming for the two of us.

P.S. This was my 100th published post. Milestone in a beautiful journey. Thanks for being a part of it. :)

This love-hate thing..

When they like you, you don't like them;
when they don't, you lurrvveee them.
When you talk to them, you are on cloud nine,
when you don't, probably they are on cloud seventeen :D

And then all this while,
there is this person
who stares at you while you work in the library,
dreams of you, day and night,
tries a lot to talk to you,
smiles a lot while talking to you.


And you keep hoping to talk to the person who doesn't care what you want to talk about, making several blows to the feelings of the one who does care.

This funny thing about liking someone, you sometimes forget that you need to be liked back.


You settle for whatever comes along. You want to eat a fruit, who cares if it is lemon or strawberry? Humour yourself that all is going to end well; but knowing very well deep down that this ain't going nowhere. Hurting someone elses feelings because this one particular person isn't paying enought attention to you.

This funny thing about loving someone and they not loving you back, someone ends up getting hurt for no fault.


Then, there are your friends. They sympathise with your situation, but 'HAVE GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING NOW!' They, their respective relationships and their funny tales. You have to go like, 'You 've gotta be kidding me!!' or 'Awww, I'm so happy for you :)'; when deep down telling yourself, 'Get out of this room before you explode!'

This funny thing about wanting to be friends with only those people who have identical relationship status as you.


Just when the sea in your heart calmed down, why does the tornado strike?
When you were busy playing neutral, why do all the positives and negatives in you start attracting and repulsing with each other?
This sudden rush of feelings for this one person, all goes well and then suddenly,
*Boom*

The bubble bursts!


WHY?

Love, is it?

The favorite topic of discussion?

Dream-partner, dream-romance, dream-dates, dream-kisses, dream-love-making, dream-wedding!

I personally (still) do not believe in love. I (still) do not see why other people do, AND (still) don't think I would ever be able to. All I had to say about love is this.

My last year's valentine's day post was just an attempt to change the whole topic to other forms of love, but well, this weekend I'm saddened.

Every-one's concern is absolutely different.

Shahrukh Khan wants Paki players to play in IPL
Shiv-sena + Ma-na-se don't want call him a traitor instead
Mumbaikars want to see 'My name is Khan'
Rest of india wants to either like it or not-like it
Terrorists wanna bomb one of my favorite bakeries
City-police wants to sleep
Pune-kars want to act like nothing happened
Hyderabadies want Telengana
Students want to study and nail GATE
My hostel-mates want to smoke in the wash-rooms
My classmates want placement
My mum wants me to wear a saree
My bro wants me to study hardER

I meanwhile, want a break!


One weekend, just one weekend surpasses all others as a mighty huge disaster. And what's best? Its just the beginning of the year / term / career, and I'm freaking out already.


Funny how I had to read a quote on Valentine's day. Says,
Since we tend to see ourselves primarily in the light of our intentions, which are invisible to others; while we see others mainly in the light of their actions, which are visible to us; we have a situation in which misunderstanding and injustice are the order of the day.
Interesting, very interesting.

Do I not belong here anymore?

It smells a little different in here
not like it did when I had left
the fresh calm is no more in the air
Now it is stale, almost suffocating.

The furniture has been moved, I notice
The lock to the main-door is changed,
A gleaming new washing-machine has replaced
the cabinet that held my belongings.

I can't figure out the keys
Neither the switches to the fan or light
There are marks on the wall that did not exist
New frames that I have never seen before.

My room looks familiar though
Nothing has been touched since four months ago
Still somehow I feel like i'm sleeping on someone else's bed
Hogging on someone else's space.

This someone else is me that I was back then
Carefree, Teenager, Thoughtless, Easy;
The someone that I have become now
Nomadic, Over-Planned, Measured, Mystery.

Both are strangers to each other.
She belonged, I don't feel the strings attached,
She just spoke, never thought,
I think and sometimes, never speak;
She flew, she wrote, she laughed a lot
She trusted, I don't;
She loved, I won't.

It's almost like I don't belong here;
I hate to admit but I'm jealous of her
Not very long ago, she was me
And now, I am someone I don't want to be.

Mamma-Papa are the same though;
some wrinkles are new, some kilos here and there
But its the same warmth that I used to feel
when I was she.

I'll always be their princess maybe
Always, the little one
So coming to them will always be like
coming home, whichever house it might be.

The Sambhar Rice and the Coconut chutney

Well, so I am in South India. Not the first time, but definitely the first time for more than a week and with another year and a half lined up. So this is it, Welcome to Hyderabad!

With my Bengali lineage and Maharashtrian upbringing, I have eaten quite an assortment of food. So much variety that a restaurant menu would not suffice; But since the last 10 days, I have had almost all meals of Sambhar-rice! Bland food, so bland that I carry chaat masala with me to eat; And oh no no, this is not the worst part, these local girls went and complained that the food is ‘spicy’ and what I expect next is boiled vegetables!!

Food the way I’ve never had before
Vegetables that I don’t identify
Tamarind in everything
Cutlery = absent
Rice rice everywhere
Water straight from the oceans
No ‘daal’ in the daal
No tea, they serve morning sugar syrup
LONG queue for bath and longer for breakfast
Cycling across the 2300 acres called ‘campus’
No cellular network in the jungles

I asked for college life, not Jail life!


Ahem. So well, you get the hang of it, don’t you?

The TV channel doesn’t change. If you want to change, you use your stick / pen / clip, because there is no knob you see.. So it plays telegu stuff and I don’t even cross that corridor.

My room-mate’s possibly the best I could ever have! She is from Pune, so it’s like having someone from back-home live with me :-) Plus we like a lot of common things and don’t like a lot of other common things; in short, great! *thumbs up*
Very few guys from Mumbai; I made some decent amount of friends and we set off exploring the university every now and then :-) So, life doesn’t actually suck :P

Hyderabad is a funny place. They have cheesy parts of the city called Cyberabad, Telecom-nagar, hi-tech city n all; which by my view is funny :D The language is funny too. I’m not talking about telegu, any south Indian language is the same for me; here, I talk about the hyderabadi hindi :-| Oh, you’ve gotta hear it to know what I’m talking about.

I came alone to the city :-) I mostly travel alone and well, I kinda settled by myself too; so that’s prolly good.. The cycling is settled, even the room with my personal touches :-)

This is different from the place I grew up in
Very different
Maybe that means that life has a lot in store for me here
I don’t know, time will tell..

My Profs have a very sexy profile though. They are all visiting faculty in BIG schools like IISc, BARC, TIFR, MIT, some German and UK schools.. Even seniors have a great set up, so well, I have that much pressure on me to perform well..

I will write often now. I can’t believe that I didn’t write on my birthday. I had a nice one, but it was kinda sad coz I left for Hyd the next day. It is ok, the month-long birthday celebrations had gotta stop someday.. So, 20th year of life it is :-)


Oh, about the coconut chutney..

I dunno why but these south Indians love that one man!
It is served with everything! Idli, rice, puri, pakoda, samosa, upma, OKAY!
But they served it with aloo ka paratha! Beat that now..
Goodbye to good food..
*sigh*

Walking away

Something I wrote off the hook..
Post dedicated to all the wonderful memories of the last 3 years of my life

Graduation days are the best I ever had
Graduating just makes me so sad
For I shall have to depart
Away from the place that is so close to my heart
Ruia, Miss me

My pals from all around the city
Of Various courses offered by Mumbai University
Moving on to make careers bright
Facing the world without doubt or fright
People, Miss me

Friends who were lot more than ‘classmates’
With virtues that make the greatest of greats
3 years together brought close and free
Love simply deepened for Biochemistry
TYs, Miss me

Teachers..
The professors, nah, more like friends
Who shall continue in there, for them no ends
They shall have a brand new ‘TY’ to worry about
To teach them all the concepts, to clear their doubts

Vora Ma’am faced it all with that brave grin
I’m glad; we are all as good as her kin
Mona Ma’am, her smile made all worry fade away
One conversation with Shohini Ma’am, made our day

Sneha Ma’am’s persistent backing-up with scolding
Prashant sir, always OHP transparency holding
Dhvani Ma’am, the reason why our FY bliss-ed
Padma Ma’am will always be max missed :-(

However bad or good students we were,
I hope you are content by the state of affair
But, you will agree that our was that batch
With traits that no other can ever match ;-)

Us..
We, the nine nautankies
The best from the rest, we the junkies
I am so close to you rest eight,
Our meet-ups are a definite bait..

Surabhi, the tallest of us all
Mau Manik’s late night missed call
Rohit’s jokes no better than a fart
Navjyot’s dancing = true work of art

Malamaal Prerna! Our Reserve Bank
Shweet Sayali, always so blank
Tejas Dada’s bayako [wife], his guitar
Late comer Bhate lives oh so far!

Life without you all, feels so empty
I shall miss N-219, memories plenty
DP’s corner table for six
All kinds of food in a random mix

The pictures clicked on the triangle
Career discussions from the canteen angle
Birthday celebrations and pending treats
Planning and canceling full group meets

It makes me look into the future’s eyes
Big hope that this friendship never dies
Big wish that we reach out might
But I sure shall miss all the petty fights

Miss me my dear friends, and please keep in touch
A random mail, one message is not asking for much
A missed call, even a passing thought
Would let me know that my feelings are not alone to rot…

Here, I shall call it just the road’s bend
Because this definitely is not the end
Hoping that you guys are doing just fine
Closing curtains with the clichéd Remembrants’ line,
I’ll be there for you..
Coz you’re there for me too :-)

Notification

To whomsoever it may concern

I, Shatabdi Roy Chowdhury, whould like to inform you with a heavy heart that 'examination-time sucks!'. I have been giving exams since last week January 2009 and have them till July 2009. Yes, I have nothing at all to look forward or backward to and am SICK of people testing my abilities, which are way above human perception.

My Univ exams end on the 15th of April so I shall continue blogging. My Facebook profile of the other hand has been deactivated to avoid wasting all the 'precious' time ON the days of examination. But it shall see phases of activation-deactivation often now.

Orkut account lies dead and Don't even ask me about Yahoo messenger, because that was given up eons ago to make way for my exhaustive list on Gtalk.

This is no attempt to cut people out following the recent incidents in my life. It is just a desperate step to keep me away from networking when I come for reference. Because cutting off the internet shall render me handicapped.

*ecstatic because SHE CAN WRITE FORMALLY!*

Anyway
I have personal messages, like always :)

*!* Trinaa: I have tried to call you 7 times in the last 2 days and your number is "switched off". Kuch hua hai kya?

*!* Crystal: Blogger is INCOMPLETE without you. Come back :-(

*!* Urv: Mental Man. But yea, Thanks for that pep talk. Motivated me immensely.

*!* Arv: I spoke to you!!! Yay! :-D And its just like Ne had said in her guest post on your blog! ;-) Thanks on the advice yea. :-)

*!* Aditi: Saath jiyenge, saath marenge. Ab toh exam center bhi ek hi aa gaya!! Haay dayya!

*!* Laya: yes, you are allowed to laugh. When you are about to graduate, I shall have the last [:P] laugh :-D

*!* Swayam: Padhai kar-le beta. Kabhi kabhi karna chaiye. Sehath ke liye acha hota hai :-P

*!* Ishaan: Ref to Aditi and Swayam's msgs :-D The kids say 'hi' and 'best of luck'.

*!* Divinediu : :((((((((((((((((( MISS YOU

*!* Deluded: You give exams all round the year and your course is lot tougher than mine. So? I'm not gonna cure/kill living people, Am I?

*!* Rajesh: Good luck with the book man. I know you needed feedback from me, I will gradually :-) Tc!

*!* Dita: :-) Milenge, soon! :-)

*!* Alok: Acha don't make face. I'm going back to study!

*!* Soham: :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D You know what :-D

*!* Sachi: Thanks to Graham Bell, my umbilical cord hold onto me :-D Opps, cell phones were chord-less no? :-D BUT, Vodafone vs Airtel rivalry bhi humko durr nahi rakh sakti :-P Love you sachi!

*!* Dishi: Happy holidays!! I know they are not on right now, but what-d-hell they will begin long before mine begin. + Advance Happy birthday :-)

*!* Anurag: Nahi, no Gtalk either. :-)

*!* Crazy: Punjab di kudi pumping padhai karne di energy in me on the phone. Best hai tu crazy! Simply the best! [HBO wala :P]

*!* Ki: Our exams start on the same day :-( which is just FOUR days away. SHIT.

*!* Bhai: Before you kill me. I be gone. :* [runs awayyy]

Love you guys and comments not allowed because I don't wanna get senti. Gmail is the best way to contact. I shall reply on a daily basis :-) Even a 'hi' would mean loads people :-)

BYE!

Goodbye

So today, I fore-see
what tomorrow my world shall be
free from your ignorance
and all of my care,
the feelings can be buried
of which you weren't aware.

Free from the shackles
that would bind us through times of hell,
for the concern I had
were never perceived well.

I shall now let
the shallow painless night end;
forget the love,
you didn't even deserve to be my friend.
You walked
leaving behind the seasons Grey
And I kept sitting below the lone tree
while you partied away.

This is it, I see the end,
of the pretense, the heartless emotionless struggle
To get you back, to be yours
of togetherness, of snuggle..

At the end, I just regret
wishing for the time when we had met
hoping that you would be the one
to wipe my tears
hold me tight
say, "darling, it ll be alright"
stand by me when days were thin
no care about loss or win

Pack your bags, take off,
you've stayed here too long;
I, meanwhile shall dump the memories
that we cherished all along.
I shall no-more
look at the old oak door,
expect the phone to ring
or Gtalk to ping..
I'm happy we chose different ways
before the love deepened or stayed
for if it had been the other way round
I would have lost my soul, my sky, my ground.

Why is it so hard to let go,
If you ask so,
Only thing to be said by me
would be,
We don't give away our heart everyday,
do we?

Deep Insight

Sometimes life takes us through such weird phases that we can't help but wait patiently for it to pass. Sometimes it is just out of our hands to change something that is happening to our dear ones. Sometimes it all seems to happen to the wrong people at the wrong time and what is saddening is, we can do nothing about it.

Some recent events unfolded in the past week that have made me see through and appreciate life for the way it is.

Meanwhile,
Our life is not just ours, our world is inter-laced with so many others that even if one thread breaks, the entire network crumbles like a castle of cards. We always imagine certain people to be instrumental in making us the way we are. Even if they are not physically present at all times, they affect us deeply.







You are always going to be loved Buru didi. My relationship with you will never change.



I have made grave mistakes in the past. Now it is time to correct them, because it is never too late to start. My blog shall not die a slow death. I shall not let that happen.

The Most important People in My life.

Okay so I am on a blog-break. Unexpected, not of a fixed duration either. So, I have a lot of apologies to ask for and a lot of tales to narrate. But that is not what I am here for.

I am here for another dedication post! This time on valentine’s day :-)
What I used to think of love last year is here. [which was also my claim to fame on blogger-world :-D]. But well, I’ve come a long way.

Dedicated to the 55 most important and influencing people in 19 years of my life

Important because they supported me when I could see no friendly face around;
Important because I can’t imagine my life without them
Important because I care about them, in the same way that they care about me.
Important because I love them and I know I don’t say it enough.

So here they are; the most influential and imperative set of people to me.

Aditi Gupta: The intersection of the web and real worlds for me. Ruia college would be different if you were not around. Keep in touch.

Aishwarya Shevade: One of my pune PG room-mates and one friend I wanna treasure for life. You made the schedule in Pune easy, Thank-you.

Akshay Pai: One of the sweetest guys I know. You are a gr8 friend, please stay the same way.

Alisha Iyer: :-) I don’t have enough words, but yea, you do come in this list :-) Thanks for being there when I needed you.

Alok Meshram: One of my very good friends and definitely one person I am proud of. I am sorry if I have ever hurt you. You mean a lot to me, always remember that.

Alpana Mallick: I miss you when I see pairs of girls on the roads of sec-17. You will always remain my favorite company for mini-sea-shore. Always.

Amruta Bhate: The beginning of our friendship was an edventure by itself and well, it has been an absolute delight knowing you :-). [Yea, you are not the only one who can lie well :-P]

Anindita Debnath: You are the best, you know that. I just regret one thing; not hugging you when we met.

Annsu Joseph: Please forgive me for not keeping in touch. Losing a friend like you would break my heart. Thinking of you will always bring a smile to my face.

Anurag Chatterjee: Yea, you. Take good care and the next time you annoy me, I ll take your case, again :-P

Apurva Shinde: JC would have been hell without people like you around. Be a good doc man and yea, don’t let Priyanka take the same specialization as you; we need variety in the family :-P

Ashish Mehta: You rock! And we as a pair rock! We killed in antakshari finally! Thanks gal, for giving me that joy and a wonderful final year college festival.

Bhagyashree Kaduskar: Thanks to you I had a great time in Pakhnikar’s. You stuck to me as your bench partner despite my weirdness and I value that.

Bhai with Chai: I remember how our posts used to collide and how we used to be the first people to comment. Kyu gayab ho jati ho? Kyu? :-(

Bhaiya: :-) I hated you, loved you, missed you, idolized you, learnt so much from you. The blood bond did work for us, no? I am glad that I am a sister of a guy like you.

Buru Didi: Oh, you got married :-( But still you are my elder sister whom I look up to :-) Your Mumbai trip was such an amazing experience that I want you to come back with Jiju, again :-)

Dhvani Desai: Ma’am, I miss you. You are so far away but the amino acids always remind us of you. We always talk of you and how FY was so much fun with you. Please take care ma’am.

Divya Rao: Diu: I think of you and my heart sinks. Diu, baby, you are so sweet that I couldn’t help but learn so many things from you. You are the only person whom I said the love words in the first meet and well, I still mean it.

Ishaan Kumar: My guide through metal music and someone who continues to remind me that I have a long way to go in your kinda music :-P Me still the female version? Eh?

Jay Unni: You are mentally retarded. But you give good advice at midnight.

Jyotsna Nambiar: Joey: You are a gr8 friend gal. I fondly remember all the fun times I had with you. I hope you feel the same way about me, tc!

Ketki Deshpande: Yea, Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart! If not in school, after school you are one of the people I fondly remember of childhood days.

Kirti Aparajita Kumar: I ve prolly not said too many time, but yes, you matter to me. We have not spent ages together, thanks to the final year, but I value our friendship.

Komal Pawar: I hope you read this and thus I hope you know that I consider you as a friend that I value. May you reach all heights and may our friendship blossom.

Krutika Phalnikar: Kuku: You are one of the friendliest people I have come across till date. I love your spirit gal. Plus you taught me so much about animals and birds that I can’t stop myself from trying to recognize them and check it on the net next :-P

Ma: I am the worst daughter there is. But I am proud of the way you are. I love you ma, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Madhura Rane: All the advices and all the chatting; I miss you as one of the first friends I made in Ruia. You are cute, and I like you just the way you are. No matter what, stay the same.

Maity Kaku: The person who makes me realize that we are sent to the world to appreciate others, not hurt. Your survival instinct makes me fight back, always.

Manik: The cutest cranky kid ever. I am glad we made friends and you messages and missed calls mean so much to me, that words don’t do enough justice to describe the bond we share. Don’t be surprised if I cry on the farewell [with you].

Manjari Madanan: :-) We meet at the most unexpected places and ‘that’ is the special bond. Manj, you are a true rockstar. I have learnt so much from you that the testimonial I wrote is just not enough.

Mansi Gandhi: You are one person I wanna hold onto all my life for pep-talks. You always manage to show me sense in a directionless path and that makes you special. I have never felt of you as a senior, will never.

Munu: Rohini Chatterjee: My kid sis! My baby sista! I love you soo much! Don’t follow my footsteps, carve your own path and then, I shall be proud of you :-)

Navjyot Bandiwadekar: Navvy: You matter, you know. One of the people who chooses to be with me when others are invisible. You comfort me, reassure me that this is no end and my dear, if what I call, ‘a true friend’.

Papa: You are my favorite person in the world; nuff said. I love you!

Pooja Gudibanda: Our friendship has last so long that I have now begun to feel its magnificence. 14 years? Eh? Thanks for being around gal, your friendship has been a sheer delight!

Poorva Chavan: My golu polu baby! My partner in all the ups and downs in tunga! Without you, ‘that disastrous internship’ would have cost me with my life. You made it fun for me!

Prerna Chawla: The first friend I made in college and definitely the person who continues to understand me the best. You know what I want, you know what I should want :-P The chairperson of My advisory board. A friend I have for life.

Priya Titus: Talking to you calms me down. I love you because you are proud of the way you are. A gem of a friend, definitely!

Raghunath Prabhu: The only guy whom I felt like making my brother in the very first meet and well, that tastings meet is one of my fondest memories in Chembur. Keep in touch man and yea, you know the job setting :-D

Richa Palekar: You comment, I like it; just coz I know that you genuinely care. I hope it remains the same way, always :-)

Ridhiman Banerjee: Is my list of top 50 important people complete without you? I don’t think so.

Rucha Kamath: You are the coolest senior I know. I am glad you were mine! :-D

Sachi Mahajan: Okay, barring the last 1 month, shes always been around in the brightest and the darkest days. And which younger sister is never mad at her elder? Yes, that’s our bond. If you din already know, I love you like I would love my sister. Koi shak?

Sanyal Jethu: His words penetrate me like arrows, his encouragement actually makes me feel as if I can fly. He has been a constant source of motivation since god knows how many years and I value that.

Savita Pakhnikar: Influencial? Ofcourse. My course instructor and philosopher n guide. I take this opportunity 2 thank you ma’am, for constantly pumping in the required energy in all of us.

Sayali Churi: My best friend. As confused and directionless as me. But prolly the most lively and cute person on the face of the earth.

Shabarni Gupta: My identical in all respects twin.

Shubho dada: My favorite cousin brother, always. Support system and is like the magnetic pointer. I somehow know that I am gonna end up like him :-P

Sneha G: I know we don’t talk much now a days, but there was a phase when I used to wait all day to talk to you in the afternoon. I don’t know how much it made a difference to you, but on me, it had a very different kind of impact. You are a special friend sneha, yes, my rock guru :-P

Sneha Sansare: You made pune tolerable. Thanks for all the laughter and kidding.

Surabhi Rao: Now, You are one of the first people to know if I am upto anything. Don’t you think that means something? :-P Whatever anyone might say, I can trust you with my life. Period.

Surekha Rao: I have never looked at you as my friend’s sister. You have been a friend, cute and smart little friend dear. Hope it stays that way. :-)

Tejas Mukadam: Don’t be surprised if I ask you for advice even after I pass out :-P and yea, for record, you are gonna pay for the bike ride and ice-cream when I decide to suicide. I think of you and I am reminded of Mahabaleshwar. Thanks for the best vacation of my life man.

Trinaa: All the other kidding is fine, but I am glad that we are such special kind of friends. Superpoke mein kuch bacha hai toh who bhi kar de :-P

Vishal Ramrakhyani: I remember how you used to meet me everytime you dropped by Ruia. I am proud by the decisions you took in your life and really hope that it works for you :-)

I can never include every-one who matters, but then these are the ones who are like life-support systems to me.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

This night that never ends...

You like them
They don‘t like you back.
You need them
They don’t need you back
They leave
And all you do is
Wait.

For them to take notice
For them to call
Just cling onto all the memories, all the fun times
Force your needs upon them
They suffocate, they quit
And you still don’t stop haunting their lives.

They don’t wanna make things messy
But do they understand you?
Do they realise
What they mean to you?

And then realization strikes

And start your desperate attempts to act like you don’t care

But the truth remains

No matter how many girly parties you attend
how many vodka shots you gulp
No matter how much you bitch
you tell yourself that you ‘deserve better’
No matter how much you stare at the screen of your phone
And how many hours you stand at the door
No matter how much you wish with all your heart that you hear from them one last time..

They don’t trace their path back

And you continue your endless directionless wait
Every passing day....


P.S. To every girl that still waits,
Yes, patience is a virtue. But do you deserve being treated like that?
I have learnt
Love yourself
And the world will follow suit.

Poona Puna Poone Poonay Poohne PUNE!

The city

where 75% population is under 30,
and accomodation is available plenty;
non-marathi speakers fall in trouble,
love stories shatter like a bubble;
Where education is ‘popular’,
Mango mastani simply spectacular!
And common-wealth games is called ‘Yuva krida mahotsav’....

Traffic rules do not exist,
People are absolutely not sexist;
Strange messages put up on puneri patya,
The yummiest varan-bhat, taak, bhakar-wadi and surdichya wadya;
Public transport is most low-geared,
If you don’t wear a scarf, you are considered weird;
Walk-in Plaza, KP, Camp, SB road, Law and FC,
People come to visit the university....

A little clean,
a little crowded,
a little pleasant,
a little comfortable,
sometimes very un-managable;
abundance and lack of sense
but a worthy experience.

Welcome to the city where dreams dwell

Welcome to Pune!
:-)


Yes, I am back. And apart from the food and hectic schedule, I loved this visit.
For people who did not understand; ask specific doubts :-D I will LOVE to explain :-P

Wish you were here..

Raindrops lash against my window;

my hair is wet

and so are my eyes...

A cuppa of coffee in my hands

A million things in my heart

I sigh!

I wish

you were here..

Distance parts us my baby

and words fail,

With no clue of where we are going

and no attempt to ease the pain,

With nothing else up my mind,

I really wish

you were here..

I think of you,

my heart bleeds

and I am out of ideas

of reunion, of togetherness , of being us.

I miss you,

I need you,

I love..

Oh! how I wish

you were here..

P.S. No, not in love. No infatuations or stupid fascinations; just a feeble attempt to poetry in this ultra-romantic weather :-)

A lil bitta fascination doesn't hurt :-P

Recently, one of these days, I was bored. Not just bored, in a horrible horrible mood.

One of the most prominent reasons for the same was that, I had just finished reading one of the poorest ever written books. "The 3 mistakes of my life" was definitely one of my mistakes. But then I don't usually give up things mid-way; so somehow finished reading it. Result, the previously mentioned awful mood.

Additionally, I had nothing to look forward to that day, apart from endless hours of journal writing. My assignments had fared badly, and I wasn't exactly happy with my presentation either. I had an argument with my mum first thing in the morning and first time ever, dad didn't support me!!!!!!

To add to it all, I was broke. The pune trip just sucked all money outta my wallet and left behind some moments of fun and the tickets n bills :- Top it up, biggest disaster, I had no balance in my phone, so couldn't wish one good friend on her birthday. Month ka quota finish, and no money, so no refill. All the bad times came rushing back to me. My mood was low. No, it was loowwww......

Nothing seemed to calm me down. Talking, floyd, painting, looking at old pictures, singing, cleaning, reading, writing, eating; nothing, absolutely nothing!

In short, it was a lousy, slow-moving, never-ending day!



And then,
He commented on my blog.

And my day was made!


Lousy day became day filled with surprises. Life was bliss.
Do I sound smitten? I guess I am.. :-P
Has this ever happened to you?

The fire within!

Each one of us has this something they are passionate about. Sometimes it is a talent, or maybe a hobby, even occupation. Sometimes it is "craze for sports", other times it is as tiny as "talking on the phone". Our passions determine us, mark our personality. Not that it means anything, but people who have passion for the same things, have a similar wavelength. And well, that is how I have made most of my friends, coz we share, in common, some or the other thing that we are passionate about.

Among many other things here and there, I always thought I was passionate about bio-sciences.

Always.

*As a kid, I first wanted to be Paleontologist! [If you think of Ross Geller ;-) , I don't blame you] Then, I began to hate history. So, plan cancelled.

*Gradually, as every kid at some point or another wants to, even I wanted to become a Doctor. MBBS with surgery - specialization, then join the Army. [Yea 'Samby' and his friends, you can smile :-P]
But then, 7 years of MBBS was declared, and it was such a turn off! I mean, who wants to stay stuck in graduation when the whole world has done masters and already is working. Plus, just MBBS has no value what-so-ever and post-graduation competition is horrible with reservation every-where. No, no... Mission aborted!

*Then my interest diverted towards plants. Yes, Horticulture was the call.
So, when I joined Science in junior college, I had this dream. To do BSc Botany, MSc horticulture and go through forests all over the world, find some rare plant species and name it after my name :-P [Centuria shatabdi-expressa? :-D]

But locha!
Fell accidentally in love with Chemistry!
So, now I am graduating in Biochemistry... ;-) and I am loving it!

Yes, I am an academically attached kid, who loves her college and wants to pursue Research and Development. And I sure am still passionate about it, science. I mean, I sit in lectures with a temme-something-I-dunno attitude. And when teachers do tell me something I didn't know, I am happy, my day is made. There is no desire to learn answers by-heart, who likes to do that? What I like to do is find answers to my questions; know more, a little more, till I am satisfied. My teachers actually have to tell me, "You are doing graduation and that in just one subject. Leave something for post-graduation, will you?"
I smile in front of them and come home to read something from the net or refer random books of my preference. If I don't get the answer, I ask more people. I get so restless, I don't get sleep. Yes, I know its weird :-D

Curiosity, enthusiasm, interest in wholistic knowledge. Not working too hard, but sincerity towards our work.
Is this what we call scientific aptitude?

The Bucket list.

Long, long time ago there was a tag. Not well known on blogger-land, not known rather, coz no-one did it :-| But I was tagged, by the person who invented it. And even she didn't do it :-0
So here I am doing this tag just because it is worth it!

was tagged by alisha
Check the post related to the tag here

LIST OF THINGS I WANNA DO BEFORE I HIT THE BUCKET!

*~* Get married! Not a big wedding with 1000+ people, but, a ceremony with family; Plus it has to be the Bengali way :-P I might not be the ideal Bong chic, but traditions do not die easy.

*~* Go trekking. Yes, again. And if possible, over and over and over again. The rush you feel when you are on the top; *nostalgia*

*~* Bungee jumping! Scuba diving! River rafting! Para gliding! Skydiving! All kinds of adventure sports. At least try them all once.

*~* I wanna learn how to play the sitar. But this one can wait till I'm all old and wrinkly; Since it is the toughest instrument to play, it would REALLY push me to my musical limits.

*~* Get drunk and freak out at a public place. get thrown out of a restaurant even; I am too well-behaved to do something that crazy when in normal senses :-P

*~* Get bald, at least once.

*~* Take the submarine trip to the Titanic.

*~* I wanna climb the great pyramid of Egypt. Actually see all the seven wonders. No, all 25 things in the run to be the seven wonders, haha, the list is never-ending.

*~* Kiss Rahul Bose!!! without making big news of course :-P Man, I love that guy!!!

*~* Plant a mango tree, keep it alive and then, eat the fruits :-)

*~* Fall in love with someone, crazy helpless unconditional love. Where no-one has to pretend to be someone they are not and just being with them is the best thing that could ever happen! I need to feel that pure, beautiful, real love that everyone keeps talking of.
(Also, future-love-of-my-life, I will be too shy to tell you, but I want to make love on the forest floor, the way nomads did it! :-P)

*~* Produce a new life :-)

*~* Tell all the people who are important to me, how much my life is dependent on them and how much I love them. Make all of them realize that I am what I am only coz of them and I love my life the way it is only coz I have all of them.


I tag a LOT of people, only coz I wanna see how well I did it :-D and it was so much fun doing it, so spread it around!
Alok
Alpana
Akshay
Craziest
Gunj
Ishaan
Nilesh
Emaan
Noelia
Sushmita

P.S. Jiggs and SambY were originally tagged, take this as an alarm people! :-D