I Regret the Invention of Science

Uploaded Campusjunkie 16th Oct 2008


Apes evolved into humans, got themselves a better brain. Man started using the brain, started asking questions. And to answer these questions, science was invented.

Then they realized the importance of science for the progress of mankind and started research on it. Result, they introduced courses that taught science, and then I took it up!!!

I mean seriously, Today I equate sex with hormones, I think of food and complex structures of carbohydrates and proteins come rushing into the frame of my vision, When anybody sneezes in my vicinity I thank my antibodies, I blame Cadbury’s for not publishing ingredients and expiry dates on eclair’s!! aarrgghhh, in short, I L-I-V-E science.

And then things are expected out of us, science students. To sit in every lecture, pay attention, make notes, ask questions and also do “further reference”? Is it humane? To suck all life out of young adults by making them mug up complicated definitions and knotty formulae that make no sense what-so-ever? Leave them with no choice but look longingly out of the window towards BA and BMM kids playing in the rain, while they work in gloomy labs with handle-with-care Borosil glassware? Why can’t we be carefree for once? Chill out and not worry about free energy change of a spontaneous reaction?

We do homework; stay updated with advances in science; listen-think-understand-analyze-apply-remember every concept only to get criticized by 50 year olds who think we should “pull up our socks”. We begin giving final exams more than a month before rest of the college does; have stressful dates with deadly bacteria and toxic chemicals on Valentine’s Day; only to get tagged back as “nerds”. The question that I ask is,

How much of it do we finally end up applying in our lives?

We become better individuals. Punctual, aware, real, curious etc. but we end up in event management for the money. Make our graduation days living hell, just get the degree and change the field. Because we don’t want to die doing science. Then why get into it in the first place? Hype? Influence? Friends? I guess many of us like science for being “different” as kids, but when hit the hard-core ways in science, we get turned off. Also, the university system and point of view of teachers doesn’t help us much.

As of now, we have no choice but to live with it. But things better change fast if they want to keep the pure sciences alive in the near future.

And for you all, aspiring scientists out there, If you are ready to slog your ass off (literally) in lectures and practicals, have no on and off-campus life, do a 9-6 job for graduation, like other people dictating your life…This is the perfect place for you, Welcome aboard!

Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat

Written in mid-sept.
Uoloaded 6th Oct @ Campusjunkie


Yes, you did it again. And Oh No, I did it again too! I will tell you what my mistake was. Your “3 mistakes of my life”

Let’s start from the starting. I have read all your books, like many of us have. Not because you are a phenomenal writer or anything, but because your books don’t leave me with any after-effects. I don’t have to bother my brain cells at all, because there is nothing to think about. Precisely, the reason why your books are popular is “the universal phenomenon of limited usage of the head.”

But no, then I realize that you are so smart that all I can do is sit back and appreciate. You sell big-time! But not because your “writing skills” are polished, because they clearly are not. This is because your “marketing skills” are refined.

They say you are “different”; now that is an absolutely unheard line. Ha ha! I want to ask what is different about you.
- The campus feel? We have been reading Nancy Drew since we were kids. And Judy blume is so much better a read.
- The ‘only’ Indian writer to have sold abroad? Kavya Vishwanathan, Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth are American.
- You have done a brave attempt of covering riots? The read through those pages left me angry (on you) and later on realization, I had tears in my eyes, of laughing.
- Your books are cheap? Oh that they are, both monetarily and creatively. But still, I would prefer to hover on blogger-world and read the absolutely brilliant attempts to story-writing. And these folks could do with a little bit of encouragement. And that is not even for 95 bucks, it is for free.
- People “relate” to your books? Obviously, you write in the language we speak. But where is the depth sir?
- The characters are “realistic”? err...
- You are a best-seller? So I should read you?

What I fail to understand is, as a writer, how can you write the same thing over and over again? How can Rupa & co, as a publishing house, publish it in 3 different colored covers? How can you awaken before the release of your books and perform a publicity stunt by going to various colleges around the country and arrange ‘book signing sessions’? For you women are just “cute, pretty, well-dressed, long-nailed, chatter-boxes with white skinny hands for your heroes to grab”? You are an IIT/IIM-A graduate, very good sir, very pleased to meet you. Every-one wants to be you. But then why are you wasting your popularity and talents that could be used in the formulating methods of distance learning for Indian youth by over-rating an already over-hyped concept of sex? What a brilliant example to set……

But then I forget that you are here for the business. Thus, Hearty congratulations, your business has bloomed. Your haphazard hard-work has finally bore fruits Yes, India is shining and you are the rising star.

And yes, some suggestions that you always keep asking us “youth” for. Why don’t you share your skills by becoming a visiting faculty of any business school? If that is too difficult to manage, become a script writer for our fultu-filmy Bollywood, atleast you will do good justice to your work.

Never-the-less, Hail the drama king. *bows*

Signing off,
Shatabdi

Break :-P

So I have been on the run for a while :-P

I have been everywhere but on blogger. Now writing much, not commenting much, just reading a little.

I have done two guest post recently and both for absolutely brilliant blogs and both, stories.

Here they are,

The Journey of a woman for Ki's blog

and

Toothy Tales for Shrutilaya's.


And because I have quit campusjunkie and my Disoriented Neurons has been sadly dead, I shall upload my old articles on weekends.

Here's wishing love and luck to all students appearing for exams :-)

and thanking any-one else who bothers to read.

Signing off,
Shatabdi aka express.

Birthday wishes and Random updates

To Ridhiman,

Happy 20, Three cheers to you boy, [my best male friend!]

Technically, I know you what, since nine years? Same skool we used to attend :-D But trust me man, the last two years with you have been a total roller-coaster ride!
You are special, I don't need to tell you that; here are the reasons why..

You have put up with all the crap I made you go through..
You have been the shield that protected me from any evil..
You support me into anything I believe in..
You snap me back to reality incase I get too drifted...
and continue to be the friend I never had..

You trust me with your life..
I trust you with my deepest darkest..
We speak everyday till "I" hang-up..
You read me songs from your entire music collection just because I need something new..
You stay up all night to calm me down..
You talk to me when I am lonely..
You are perpetually around,
to catch me when I am just about to fall..
to make me laugh when I am on the verge of tears..
to make me realise that I deserve the best..

to genuinely take care of someone as unpredictable as me..

I really hope
that I deserve all this.
and I don't ever do anything stupid to lose it.
and that you realise what you mean to me.

So,
Happy Birthday Mr. Banerjee :-)
May you get all that you deserve ;-)
and may I be able to feel the same way for you, another 20 yrz down the line.

Love,
Bitch ;-)



Did we get too senti?
Ah! Here are the things I was upto all the while I was away....

*~* Had a trip to Mahabaleshwar-Panchgani-Pratapgad; and by far, It was definately one of the most fun trips I have ever had! Love all u guys who made it possible! Teja, Manik, Bhate, Navvy; We five are the best! Fun, super-fun to the maxx!!!!!!

*~* Met Anindita! on the dussehra day! Awesome fun!! India's answer to Raven :-D; love ya baby!

*~* And the biggest news :-) underneath, 1st salary pay-cheque :-)
Oh, by the way, the place I write for is campusjunkie; check my college's home-page here
First salary and a visiting card at 19 is something, isn't it? :-) :-) :-)

Thanks to all you people who made it possible, who commented end-lessly on my work and helped me improve. This money goes to my dad, coz well, I have my own reasons :-)

That Balancing Act...

A lot of us complain of being in the middle. Having to multitask and having too many options to choose from, too much work and the desire to do none of it. The act of maintaining the equilibrium is a part of the human nature, and that how it should be. Observation leads to realization, which in turn evokes understanding. Thus, to understand your-own-self, one needs to observe their traits and how knowingly or un-knowingly they perform that balancing act.

Too much of everything is not good. Yes, it is a generalization, but if we extrapolate it to everything we do, it sure is relevant. Reminding myself of this line constantly helps me restrict my preferences.
Similarly, Too little of anything is never enough. Both these statements sound like they are poles apart, but in the deeper sense, they mean the very same; we just need to know when to stop, how to strike that balance. The key to frictionless survival is, yes, that balancing act.

Activities that usually tend to lose that balance.

Friends
Having too many friends might work for certain people, but somewhere don’t we tend to side-line the people who are really important to us? We are expected to trust so many more people, confide to all of them, update them with regular happenings of our life; just coz they do!!! It sure is complicated, and a little assistance never hurts, why you think the social networking sites are such a boom! Then having too little friends leaves us with practically no options and not too many people to share our opinions with. The only way out of this is,
Strike that balance.

Friendliness
Especially, when we meet some-one new; when we have no idea how to behave to neither be unfriendly, nor over-friendly. We meet endless “doods” who are way too annoying, call you “sweetheart” in the very first talk or crack such pathetic PJs that a tight slap would be the ideal reply. Then there is the other extreme, guys who are more interested in their toe-nails than in the conversation you are trying to make. Why blame only boys? Even girls face this usually. Either they over-do the whole thing by hugging all possible people around, or end up sipping the epicenter of all their attention, their coffee! We either have to deal with it or
Strike that balance.

Food
Too much, :- ; too little :-
Then the balance between the constituents of the diet is another concept altogether. “Balanced diet”, is a cliché, and very correctly too! Yes, here a lot of us need to know before we try and
Strike that balance.

Faith (on god)
I am not saying that atheism or hard-core bhakti is wrong. Suit your own faith, but questioning the existence of god to the believer or expecting the almighty to be on our guard 24x7 is not done. Everyone has their own beliefs, sometimes depending on the way they are brought up. I belong to the class of people who believe in god and secretly want him to solve all problems. God helps me be carefree, gives me hope. It helps me because I think somewhere I manage to
Strike that balance.

Freedom
Be free, but not on anybody else’s cost. Express to be heard, not hurt. I strongly believe that freedom of thoughts is more crucial than freedom of speech, but then what is the use of having free thoughts if they are not expressed? A lot of thought has to be given to this before execution, thought that would probably help us to
Strike that balance

Blind Trust
Trust the trustworthy, but to what extent? We do need to analyze every situation and act accordingly, we need to
Strike that balance.

Talking
Too little gets us bottled, to much makes us talk non-sense. To voice opinions and also let others around you remain sane,
Strike that balance.

Smoking
I have nothing against them, smokers. But this one goes out to all human chimneys, please try and keep things in moderation, for your own good. Please
Strike that balance.

Competition
If it is healthy, all is good. But playing dirty games, trying to push the competitors down are matters that we dealt with in standard 4! And when it is not deserved, what good is that victory for? The call of the day is to
Strike that balance.

Luxuries
Need I say anything? Oh yea,
Strike that balance.

Blogging
Yes, for me. Third year just started, and I am already lagging behind the class in percent efficiency! Its high time I began taking things seriously, I absolutely have to,
Strike that balance.

P.S. Nature has its own ways of balancing things, of getting even with man. But this is not what this post is about. General bachche, ka general gyan showing off hai people! :-P

Yes, we know.

Typed it for a website called campusjunkie, not launched yet, will let you guys know once it is. Be prepared for this one, its lonngg...

Human Society has always been a dynamic system at the exterior. Times change, the way we live our lives change, philosophy becomes common sense, autocracy becomes democracy, spears become missiles, and Rebels become Prophets. What is it that keeps this ball rolling? You got that right. It is we, the Youth.

The youth of a society form the vanguard of its progress, of the dynamic nature of human existence. But amidst all this change, the spirit, the restlessness of youth is never lost. We humans never change.

Youth is the phase in our lives that we long for as kids, enjoy as young and recall as grownups. No-one ever stops being a part of youth, if the spirit lives in you, you live young-forever. And it is this spirit that keeps the world alive.

Let us make the world aware of what they are about to face! Here’s to the spirit.

WE DESIRE

1) A new life everyday!

2) Coffee.

3) Food, any type! Any quantity!

4) Equality, every kind.

5) Beds in Classrooms ;-)

6) Night College!

7) Unlimited pick-up lines :-P

8) Unlimited talk-time.

9) Unlimited Xerox!

10) Heavy mode downloading, all day long!

11) Crossword sale! :-D

12) More Smileys! :-)

13) A Hollywood in India.

14) Angelina Jolie.

15) Privacy for couples ;-)

16) ATM cards!

17) S*x

18) Pantaloons discounted rates, all round the year!

19) Independence.

20) Trust.

21) Respect for hard work.

22) Respect for women.

23) Value for fellow species.

24) Special local trains.

25) Better Infrastructure.

26) Limited notes. :-D

27) Easy exam question papers.

28) Even easier answer papers :-P

29) Printed Journals!

30) Good stationary :-

31) Memory, like a readily accessible database.

32) Energy!

33) Gossip!

34) Art.

35) Comfort.

36) Colours.

37) Awareness.

38) Knowledge, without any restrictions

39) Sex Education.

40) Better Quality of Life for everyone.

41) Quality Education and Educational institutes.

42) Respect for Cleanliness

43) Less hype, more substance.

44) Freedom of Expression.

45) Happier Farmers.

46) Sophisticated Technology.

47) AR Rehman concerts.

48) Theme Parks!

49) Better Health care.

50) COLLEGE! For the rest of our lives!

WE DESPISE

1) Dirty Politics.

2) Opinion-less leaders who provoke.

3) Religious Intolerance.

4) Riots.

5) Racism.

6) Being taken for granted.

7) Brain drain.

8) People who talk shit about our mother-land.

9) Confidentiality, which misleads us.

10) Reservations.

11) Saas-bahu serials.

12) Reality TV, "sting" operations.

13) Breaking news!!!!!!!!!

14) Stereotypes.

15) Entertainment, just for the sake of it.

16) Underestimating Mother Nature.

17) Hypocrisy.

18) Superstitions.

19) Male Dominance.

20) Body Odour

21) The way Sports is handled.

22) Global warming.

23) Adulteration, of any kind.

24) Over-Smartness.

25) "Opinion" Polls.

26) Fascism.

27) Child Labour.

28) Sexual Abuse.

29) Waking up early hours.

30) Lawsuits for PDA (Public Display of Affection).

31) Abuse of Public property.

32) Intolerance for Homosexuality.

33) Student Suicides.

34) Pessimism.

35) Female Infanticide.

36) Child Abuse.

37) Blaming everything on the system.

38) Pimples!

39) Hair Fall!

40) Misunderstandings.

41) Heartbreaks :-(

42) Inflation.

43) Being forced to work for what is "in".

44) Loneliness.

45) Conformism.

46) Ignorance.

47) Interference with our work.

48) Deadlines.

49) Fear.

50) Terrorism.

Because we are grown-ups now, and it's our turn to decide what that means!

P.S. The points mentioned above are strictly my opinions, but I represent a face amongst the youth, and there might be more who think alike, though not all. This does not represent public opinion.

P.P.S. Thanks a ton to alok for helping me figure certain ideas out and solve the complication of the introduction. This one dedicated to him :-)