'A nice flight' is a myth

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word 'plane'? Zooming around in the sky? or Meeting the hottest air-hostess?

Well, in my opinion, Air-travel couldn't be more over-rated! Why, you ask? Here, I give you 10 reasons why planes simply suck!

10. People think they are smarter. Seriously. You will always find one guy who wants to monitor everyone's overhead luggage and readjust it just so he could establish his 'flight-experience' :-/ Funnier enough, you find people mark their territories in sections of the flight THEY take care of. How about, help when you are asked to and let the flight-staff do their work, moron!

9. You can barely be comfortable for the entire duration of the flight + the time of boarding / take off. The seats are NOT recliners and the pillow is a joke. Blankets make you itchy (not warm) and the neck-rest reaches the top of my head :S

8. Everything is sub-standard. Their wi-fi, their card-readers, their shopping catalogs, their beer! and yet, they term it being 'world-class' just because its up-in-the-air! Plus, you can almost always fall. Doesn't that scare the shit out of you?!

7. Whats with frustrated air-hostesses?

6. The screens are faulty, the earphones might make you deaf, telecast is fluctuating /eye-hurting, the collection of programs plain sucks and the movies are SO edited that you can't make head-or-tail out of it.

5. A smile costs a million dollars! No-one even thanks the flight-staff anymore and there is an uproar even if the flight is 30 seconds late.

4. You are expected to dress well. Especially if you belong to the feminine gender. Your baggage is judged, your hair, the brand of your clothes, shoes, even the book that you read matters! It defines you and whether you are speak-worthy or not.

3. Every seat has its advantages / disadvantages. If you sit on the window, you need to scream everytime the air-hostess asks you something.. and if you sit at aisle, you need to get up everytime your fellow passenger feels like. You can't just let them slide, there is no leg-room anyway.

2. Plane food is ass. There, i said it.

1. EVERYONE farts in a plane! Courtesy the food of course. As the journey progresses, the air in the plane starts feeling funny, if you notice.. and if they have served beef jerky, even god can't save you.


Trains are slower but they are the better means to travel any day. If only we could practically slide all continents and stick them to each other! Sigh!


P.S. I realize that this post makes me sound like a super-brat. But, if I pay $800-$1000 for a service, I better get an efficient one.

P.S.S. Like you figured, I traveled a lot in the last few months. Made some life defining decisions and some heart-breaking ones. Updates follow, soon :)

The Gym and its turbanators!

After writing the previous post, every time I entered the Gym, I noticed atleast one thing that I totally HAD to share with you guys! And also because the last post was so well received, here comes another gym story! :P


For a little background..
My gym has 4 trainers. Lets call them, M, S, R and V.

M is sweeeet! He is around all day and also is my trainer and hence, I have this extra special respect for him :)

S is the floor-manager. Everyone listens to him. He pushes people way too much and is slightly biased towards people who can pick up weights above 60 lbs at once :-/ Sometimes, he just unwraps a candy-bar, gulps the whole thing in 2 bites and then tells anyone who would listen, "Want it? Deserve it first!!!" :-/

R is the jallaaaad! He is devil in a track-suit! He came to overlook my exercises on my 2nd day at Gym and practically made me regret my decision to join in the first place!

V is a pig. He is a sleazy pig-man! I despise the way he looks at people and his smirk makes me want to pick up the heaviest dumb-bell and bang it right on his head! He is around only in the evenings and yes, I don't even walk the roads of my gym at that time.


Getting back to the entire point of the turbanator post.

I am a morning person. Evenings are for indulgence and not for workouts. But then, there was this one day when I went to Gym at 6pm; And, I saw him.
He was this absolutely gorgeous man with the perfect body, lifting weights by himself. His aura drained the presence of every other soul in the room, it felt like summer breeze. The features, the glow, the body language; everything about him just screamed “PERFECT”! Yes, he wore a black turban, but who cared about his religion when he had that super-awesome body! After 1 whole minute of mindlessly staring at him, I got back to reality and sprinted away with a big blush on my face :P

I couldn’t help but just notice that one man throughout my session. I don’t think I have ever had a more dumbfounded episode in my entire life. When he left, I felt like someone had just ripped off my heart and sent it along with him. But then V prove that he is the biggest pig on the face of the earth and I decided never to go back there in the evening.


Next day, when I walked in at my usual 10am slot, the atmosphere was different. The glee was in the very air and everyone seemed to be eagerly waiting for something to happen. I asked M for updates.
Me: Is something wrong?
M: No. Yesterday we had a new member join us. That's all.
Me: So? something happened yesterday?
M: (Big grin) He is a sardarji.

My heart skipped a beat! It was almost like God had planned this for us! Today I shall be reunited with the man of my dreams. The cycling equipment showed a much higher heart-rate than it normally would and I just couldn't help it. As I paddled away, all I could think about were conversation starters: His arms; No, the mark on his forehead; No, how does one become Sikh; No, dammmit!

And then he walked in the room.

My world started spinning and I was short for breath. This guy wasn't even close to that guy! Firstly, He was short. Even shorter than me.. and that is saying something! Then, he was wearing 10s of rings and 4-5 gold-chains. He probably weighed 100 kilos and sported a blue-white spotted turban. I stared at him open-mouthedly for 1 whole minute (just like I had looked at the other man), but this time, it was out of amusement. If that guy was sex on a stick; this guy was a small barrel, barrel with a colorful turban.

M heartily welcomed him with a hug. Turns out, R was sardarji's trainer and made his life miserable. This was what everyone derived enjoyment out of :-/

I finished my aerobics and moved towards the treadmill as the man changed into his gym-outfit in the men's room. I was obviously disappointed but chose to ignore the event and concentrate on my purpose. "Today I would run the fastest I ever have", I told myself before taking off. After a quick warm-up, R headed Sardarji towards the center for stretching exercises. Then, I couldn't believe what my ears heard. The man was practically screaming out sex-noises! I had to hit the *stop* button to prevent myself from falling off the tracks and everyone was heartily laughing their lungs out.

I couldn't stop myself from peeking in their direction and the scene was not very different from a sex position. They were on the floor with R on top and Sardarji screaming out, "Oh God, stop!!!" I was too shocked to react. I scanned the room to search for someone to take inspiration from, someone who was ignoring the incident; but even the trainers found it too amusing to overlook! After 2 whole minutes of entertainment, S asked everyone to get back to work with his candy-bar stunt. I restarted the treadmill and began walking. BB walked passed by me and whispered in my ear, "This is only the beginning."

After stretching, R assigned the treadmill right beside me to Sardarji [SD]. I could practically feel everyone's eyes on our corner. It made me super uncomfortable.
SD: R sir, My stamina has considerably increased!
R: In one day?
SD: Its not about number of days, its about the amount of effort I put in yesterday.
R: Anyway, walk while you talk!
SD: Also, my diet-chart is very strict.
R: You have a problem with that?
SD: Yes. I am not allowed to eat anything!!
R: What nonsense. You aren't allowed to eat just a few things.
SD: Don't tell me what I shouldn't eat. Tell me what I should eat!
R: You should eat everything apart from the things mentioned on your list. Avoid junk, rice and non-veg particularly.
SD: Give me examples.
R: You can eat leafy vegetables!
SD: Something nice..?
R: No, nothing 'nice'. No sweets, no fried and no spicy food.
SD: Then what should I eat everyday?
R: You should eat "lauki"! (bottle-gourd). It is healthy, it is cooling and good for weight-loss.
SD: Sir, how does one eat spice-less lauki everyday?
R: Well, you should have thought about this before gaining 40 kilos of extra weight!! Now shut-up and run!

At that point, It had just gotten too much for me to take! I hit the *stop* button.

R: (to me) You have 10 more minutes to go!
Me: I would rather run those in the courtyard.
R: Why?
Me: Nothing, fresh air.


So yea, my gym is way too action-packed!! It is the highlight of my day and now with Sardarji coming at my time, it is one of the things I actually look forward to :P


P.S. Turns out, BB is the new star of the Gym. He lost some 12 kilos in 2 months. He attributes his success to his "protein shake" and "Co-operation of the trainers".. BUT, you and I might just know the *real* reason behind it ;)

The Gym, the guys and the water-cooler..

Yes, I finally agreed that I don't like what I see in the mirror and resolved to change it. When I was new to it, I hated it. But well, you have to get used to some things in life and so did I. What I did not realize was that, going to the gym can be very dangerous. With all the eye-candy around, It is like walking on a highway's yellow line. A little toe here or there can get you killed :-/

You ask me how? I will tell you.
You can never make out a guy's age at the gym.

Doesn't sound horrifying enough? You wait till you hear the stories!

So I am 22, right? So ideally, guys I would consider would be 22-26, right? All this while in a college set-up, it was very easy to choose guys to chase; considering that your batch kinda gives away your age. But at a gym, no-one looks their age!

The guy who started talking to me first turned out to be 19! Children these days! They start gyming from school days and puff-up their bodies to look 10 years elder!
He asked me what I did and called me "Didi" to burn down all my emotions :(

There was this one exercise that I was doing wrong and this gym-member corrected me. So that led to a very interesting conversation about muscle tone and yes, interesting conversations are always a turn ON! But, my bad luck soon caught-up and he asked me, "Which standard are you in, Beta?"
At first I thought he wasn't talking to me. But then, to my horror, he pointed and repeated the question. I knew he was much elder than me and I guessed 30ish. What I didn't know was that he was a 42 year old 6-pack obsessed uncle.

Now you see why I said that about gym and men!?

Well, My initial days at the gym were spent lusting a tall-fair-chubby guy who always wore blue clothes. I'll call him Blue-boy (BB) :P. So, after 1 whole week of eye-contact and timid smiles, we have a dialogue. He was skipping in the courtyard and I was sent there for jogging-rounds.
BB: (stops hastily) You need the rope?
Me: What!?
BB: Rope, skipping rope! (with animated actions)
Me: Oh! I heard something totally bizarre!
BB: What did you hear?
Me: Dope. (sly smile :P)
BB: Haha! Wow. I can use some of that right now! God knows that losing weight the straight way is tough!
Me: Err.. I should get started on those rounds..
BB: Listen, I don't do drugs ha!
Me: Huh?
BB: I mentioned needing pot right? I don't do it.
Me: Good for you. (tightening my shoe-laces to take off)
BB: No, believe me. I'm very much against all vices. I have even stopped talking to my friends who began smoking.
Me: OK. (straight-face)
BB: I don't befriend smokers or dopers or alcoholics or arts students because they are usually smokers or dopers or alcoholics. You aren't a student of arts, right?
Me: No, but..
BB: I knew it! And you are not Marathi either! I'm not very fond of Marathi-people.
Me: Hmm. You know what? I need to be running now and you should jump. So I guess we can talk later..
BB: Aree no, Why you getting into formality?! I'm taking a break anyway. So, where was I? Yes, I don't like Marathis or Punjabis. I might look like a Punjabi, but I'm actually a Sindhi. You are not a Sindhi, are you?
Me: Nope. But I need to run now. So, bye!

Since that day, every time I see him, he comes to gym wearing a white tee which says "No Smoking". This has been on since so long that now, I can openly judge him to be someone worth avoiding forever.


So yea, there was sweaty-sweeterson, adidas-ganji-guy, smug-face, black-gloved knight, Garfield-butt, lifts-like-a-girl, stares-at-the-wrong-place, Tom-cruise-lookalike, brown-eyes-chin-dimple etc etc; but they don't come at my time, so who cares!


And now the mystery of the water-cooler! Tan-tana!!

So while one works out, one takes a water break. So, in 1 hour, I drink water about 3-4 times. The time-out at the cooler is a perfect opportunity for one to make conversation with others. So, being the observant person I am, I have noticed that during crowded hours, when a hot girl makes her way towards the cooler, guys choose to take time-outs and rush there :P

I noticed that this one person, [lets call him Creepy-eyes (CE)] started coming to the cooler when I was there. I found it so weird that I started carrying my own bottle to the gym :-/


Such stuff happens everywhere, It depends how you choose to react to them. I have decided that gym-guys are not for me. They are just good to look at; but when you interact with them, you wish the earth would tear apart and swallow them whole! Or they are taken and you wouldn't want them to think of you as a cling-on.

So, Gym is strictly for nirmal anand (mild entertainment) and for other stuff, we have the blogs ;) :P

Life is too simple if you don't complicate it!

Academics, love-life, hygiene, image, popularity, impression on elders, rapport with teachers, statement of purpose, short-term goals of life, Long term goals of life, keeping parents content, denying distant relatives a reason to pick on you, phone bills, random friend's birthday present contribution share, boyfriend/girlfriend trouble, heart-aches, deadlines, interviews, books to read, things to do, movies to watch, etc etc.. There are so much stuff that an average young adult is responsible for.

Every single time when I think that I have gained expertise in one aspect, other ones start falling apart. Managing ones’ life effectively is more difficult than probably managing a multi-national company! Just that a lot is on stake in case of the so called 'managers', but all of us do manage by, don't we?

Thinking about how one can change their life into something better is probably the world's favorite way of passing time. What we fail to realize is that, at some point of time, we have to loosen the strain on improvement and care about making the best of what we have. Cribbing about life doesn't make it better, it only creates negativity which is very difficult to get rid of.

There has to be a simpler way of living. More richer, more fulfilling..

Appreciate; yourself, others, their efforts.. Understand; what the universe is trying to tell you.. Realize; that it's never too late to make a fresh start. Try; to like the choices available to you.. and choose, the one choice that makes me most happy.

Easy to talk and difficult to walk?

I am going to try. There is everything to gain.

Comfort is the key...

Nothing, absolutely nothing in the world is more comfortable than...
*~* A good old pair of blue jeans...
*~* and with it, faded extra large plain white T-shirt...
*~* Thick pair of cotton ankle socks!!
*~* No footwear, bare feet...
*~* If footwear be necessary, floaters...
*~* Sleeping with your head on nani's lap...
*~* Mother's hug...
*~* Home...
*~* Homemade food...
*~* Talking for endless hours, without constrains of time, topics, difference of opinion...
*~* Listening to mellow music before passing out each night...
*~* Walking on the evening beach, with damp sand all over your feet...
*~* Laughter...
*~* Pouring your heart out to your best friend(s), without having to worry about the consequence...
*~* Winter mornings under a thick blanket...
*~* Bathing, especially during summers...
*~* Watching television on the couch with endless supplies of popcorn/ chips...
*~* Short, open, soft hair...
*~* Nothing fake, no make-up, none at all...
*~* Ability to laugh on oneself...
*~* A hot cup of vishnu's chai...
*~* The company of the one you desire...

People say, "You can reach to the best of your potentials only when you step out of your comfort zone." Very true.

But even the comfort of reaching to your best can't beat the things listed above...............

The most difficult thing to do...

I was just wondering the other day...what is it that i face maximum difficulty while doing?

The first thing that came to my mind was losing wt!..yea..thats helluva difficult!! But on second thoughts there were so many things to be considered that this wasn't funny anymore.
I thought managing ones life was difficult. Keeping everyones goodwill in mind, making everyone see the point in any discussion and making them agree..well..that is quite some job! But then sticking to the right and being determined not to give up..is also equally difficult!

Loving someone with all your heart and giving up the world for the one u love is difficult...but then letting someone know that you love/like them is also difficult indeed! Not to lose temper when you see injustice is tough. Following your heart no-matter-what is difficult but putting up with everyones expectations and trying to fulfill them....arghh!!!

Maybe in case at all times u r positive, nothing is difficult! But how difficult is being positive????

Now to end this post is becoming difficult! I guess posting your comments shouldn't be all that difficult though..... :D

My experience with Reliable labs

Most of my 07 summer was consumed in the internship that i was involved in for my Food sci adv diploma..First 2 weeks at the local dairy [Gokul] and then after a week long break..4 weeks at RAL! Reliable Analytical Laboratories, thane.

At first the package that they were providing me sounded good. A busy month with a 9-6 job sounded hectic, but it was a rare opportunity for an 1st yr student. I was making a Project, my project. Being a research aspirant i knew this opportunity was too good to lose for some hours of traveling and no materialistic gains out of it. So, I took up the opportunity and off my programme went zoooooming from the Monday, 7th of may.

I was "the new intern" for all the employees and my name is such a tongue-twister anyway....

There was so much work pending, and within days I was given a whole dept. to handle. As my project dealt with Pesticides and their extraction from foodstuff and later testing whether they were in safe limits or not, I handled the PR dept. stands for Pesticide residue..

Being at RAL, I learned many things. Obviously about the concepts involved in Pesticide Residue Extraction..but also, general worldly matters that we so conveniently ignore as college-goers.
1. The traumas of a 9-6 job.
2. How to travel in local trains in peak hours.
3. How to run behind a bus and fight for an already occupied seat.
4. How to come late to work and give explanations.
5. How to finish off excess work before time by cutting out essential steps from the procedure.
6. How to taste the samples first and then try testing them.
7. How to cover-up for your group-members and make plots to catch the rival group members..red-handed!!
8. the ABC of Office politics.
9. How to do all mistakes in the world and still stand up and say "wasn't me!"
10. How to tackle RATS!! [It seems the lab was full of them! I got to see a couple..For people who dunno..rats are among my greatest fears!!]
And the most important thing!!...
11. How the bloody hell to recognize the look in the eyes of the boss...

There were times when I felt frustrated for ever walking into that organization. To top it all up, my personal life wasn't exactly on a peak. My friends had problems, and I genuinely wanted to be there for them. But life seemed to run too fast and I wasn't exactly able to cope up with all this mess. But I kept reminding myself of that 1 line that I picked up from one of my all time favorite movies 'My best friend's wedding'. The line says "This too shall pass!"
Alas! it has all passed finally. And as I write this after all that is done and over with, Im just glad that college is about to re-open so that we will soon be back in our laid-back worlds........